Today, my senior was telling me about how the directors at the board meeting started the meeting with a prayer.. it was reali quite unusual for a company to do a prayer at a formal meeting, but im real glad to know tat, and though its juz a general prayer to ask for blessings for everyone present and for the meetin to go smoothly..though its not some sort of a christian organisation..hmm..
Oso, she saw a poster tat read sometin like tat (according to her memory..)
A man was unsure of Christ's love for him. So one day, when he met Christ, he asked Him,
"How much do You love me??"
Then, Christ said "This much",
and then He died.
Got it? think it thru..mayb some parts of it were missing..so its abit abrupt and incoherent..i tried to find a similar one on the Net but didnt managed to..aniway i needed her to repeat abt 2-3 times b4 i got it..coz she simply read it out..i guess it shld be clearer when written down..with the " and stuff.. It sort of touched my heart at tat moment..it reminded me of His first love for me.. I feel so guilty for neglecting..yet so helpless for not being able to do much for Him at this point in time..the next passage describes what im feeling now..
Preparing For Heaven
Read: Psalm 63
O God, You are my God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for You. --Psalm 63:1
Some people openly declare that they don't want to go to heaven. I've had people tell me that they would rather be with their drinking buddies in hell than with the church-going crowd in heaven.
Most people, however, say they hope to go to heaven when they die, but I've often wondered what makes them think they would be happy there. They ignore Jesus Christ and want nothing to do with God. They show no interest in Bible reading, prayer, and worship. Why would they suddenly enjoy fellowship with God on the other side?
Although David makes no reference in Psalm 63 to spending eternity with God, there is no doubt about his deep longing for God. And I believe that the godly attitudes and actions we are nurturing in our lives here and now prepare us for heaven's enjoyments throughout eternity.
That raises some heart-searching questions. We say we want God in our lives, but how passionately do we seek fellowship with Him? How much time do we spend reading His Word, praying, and worshiping? How earnestly do we want to please Him? Does our soul thirst for Him and our heart long for Him? If so, we can say with David, "My soul follows close behind You" (v.8). --HVL
Longing to know Jesus better,
Trying to show Him our love;
This is the way to get ready
For our great meeting above. --Hess
Now is the time to invest in eternity.
Today, i braved up my courage, and went to see the partner for the performance appraisal..has been avoiding it for weeks..thot i could juz skip this chat session since im not the only one being called for..but still..with the encouragement fr my senior..and some prayin b4 i step into the partner's rm.. i got the peace from above..and decided tat mayb this partner will be able to enlighten me on some of the issues of deciding on my career..
Well, somehow..i guess i reali looked too sian..esp its a monday..he could sense my dullness and lack of zest at this pt in time..so thruout the 1 hr chat..we were talkin abt life..abt family..abt ambitions..abt edn system..abt how he didnt know wat he wanted to be last time..he could sense tat i hav no interest in audit even b4 me telling him..and his advice for me..is tat if i know wat i wan, dan i shld pack up n go..if i don..i hav to hang on in audit since it's gg to be a gd foundation if i gonna stay in the corporate world..haiz..tats the prob la..i don even know wat i wan..but shall take his advice to:
hang on
be independent in my work
be confident in approaching clients, even upper mgmt
be willing to learn
take the best out of everybody and learn, ditch the bad pts..
hold onto my moral values..don go the bad senior(s)' ways
Haiz..but at the end of the day..saying is easier dan doin it..i know i shldnt think so much..i shld juz work hard..i shld always keep this advices in my head..and wake up everyday with the motivation n drive to work..but...... i cant help pondering..what on earth does he wan me to do with my life??when will i ever get an ans from Him? or has i already gotten it?arghhhhhhhh....
Matthew 6:25-34 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
Do Not Worry 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Oh, i like another of my partner's advice..tat is..to find a $rich$ man..n get married..dan i don hav to think much..don hav to work..haha
21.6.05
19.6.05
Public Apology to Serene, James and David
As stated above, this post is dedicated to the above three persons who are currently enjoyin the sun, sand and sea at Sentosa right now. Nice great weather today and i'm sure you guys can enjoy yourselves even more without me..Today really no mood to get into the sun la..i guess was after yesterday's checkup tat made me so afraid of gettin into the sun's glare again..The eyedrop for dilating my pupils was so powerful..and so scary..but still..less scary dan injections..thank God..it was only an eye checkup requiring no needles..
Aniwae, this boring saturday afternoon with no babies to bother me, practically no souls at home..makes me feel a tiny weenie bit of loneliness..but its ok, i chose my day to be like tat..spent at home..coz im broke too..paid for taiwan's trip yesterday, but i wont regret, coz it's gona be a fun trip with LL. Third time to go on tour with her, first to BKK, 2nd to HK, and now is taiwan!! with no one else to bother us..yeah..
Was reading my previous blog posts from last june/july..it's been a year from then. I realised i had better english then, and i am better able to express myself last time. I wonder wat happened to me, i guess..it must be the lack of attending sermons, the dullness of audit life, blah blah blah..somehow..i guessed i was more alive then, spiritually, emotionally and physically..
Remembered the first ever BBQ i organised back then, the tiredness bt yet..support i got from my frens n family..the time i finally passed my driving, how im touched to tears..the days after grad n b4 working, how i reali enjoyed everyday at home with the (less naughty, back then) kids, how i feared for the start of the workin life..the hk trip, bkk training, gettin my first pay..everything seems to excite me back then..
Now? 'Haiz ' became my kou tou chan, i heave a sigh unknowingly everyday, i drag myself ( i wish someone else could) out of bed every morning..i pulled my long face on the way and during work, i take mcs like there's no 2mr, i drink more and i spent more dan last time.. becoz i think i deserved it after workin hard..hard as in the long hrs..i know i can nver become a workaholic..but audit reali requires u to be one, u cant help it, its a commitment which i cant totally commit in..wat drives me is only the money..not now..bt after promotion..wat a pathetic thing to admit..how could i be living for money??but i feel so...helpless...this is the reality of life..pessimistic i know..bt realistic.
Did this all start from a wrong step? back in JC, if i had stayed in bio-chem, will i be diff? or, even though i changed to commerce but had i not chose accountancy in uni, where will i be? Even if God allows me to choose my life all over again, i wont know how..i can oni accept where im now..n decide where i shld be after this..please pray for me..as i walk thru this dark path to unravel wateva's ahead of me..
Sometimes, i know i think too much.. i wished life's simpler, i wish my brain can think in a less complex way..tat will make me happier..
Aniwae, this boring saturday afternoon with no babies to bother me, practically no souls at home..makes me feel a tiny weenie bit of loneliness..but its ok, i chose my day to be like tat..spent at home..coz im broke too..paid for taiwan's trip yesterday, but i wont regret, coz it's gona be a fun trip with LL. Third time to go on tour with her, first to BKK, 2nd to HK, and now is taiwan!! with no one else to bother us..yeah..
Was reading my previous blog posts from last june/july..it's been a year from then. I realised i had better english then, and i am better able to express myself last time. I wonder wat happened to me, i guess..it must be the lack of attending sermons, the dullness of audit life, blah blah blah..somehow..i guessed i was more alive then, spiritually, emotionally and physically..
Remembered the first ever BBQ i organised back then, the tiredness bt yet..support i got from my frens n family..the time i finally passed my driving, how im touched to tears..the days after grad n b4 working, how i reali enjoyed everyday at home with the (less naughty, back then) kids, how i feared for the start of the workin life..the hk trip, bkk training, gettin my first pay..everything seems to excite me back then..
Now? 'Haiz ' became my kou tou chan, i heave a sigh unknowingly everyday, i drag myself ( i wish someone else could) out of bed every morning..i pulled my long face on the way and during work, i take mcs like there's no 2mr, i drink more and i spent more dan last time.. becoz i think i deserved it after workin hard..hard as in the long hrs..i know i can nver become a workaholic..but audit reali requires u to be one, u cant help it, its a commitment which i cant totally commit in..wat drives me is only the money..not now..bt after promotion..wat a pathetic thing to admit..how could i be living for money??but i feel so...helpless...this is the reality of life..pessimistic i know..bt realistic.
Did this all start from a wrong step? back in JC, if i had stayed in bio-chem, will i be diff? or, even though i changed to commerce but had i not chose accountancy in uni, where will i be? Even if God allows me to choose my life all over again, i wont know how..i can oni accept where im now..n decide where i shld be after this..please pray for me..as i walk thru this dark path to unravel wateva's ahead of me..
Sometimes, i know i think too much.. i wished life's simpler, i wish my brain can think in a less complex way..tat will make me happier..
16.6.05
What woman wants..
(adapted from James a.k.a Bahbuseng 's bloggie..hehe)
TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY..
A MAN needs to be a friend, a companion, a lover, achef, an electrician, a carpenter, a plumber, a mechanic, a decorator, a phychologist, a pest exterminator, a psychiatrist, a healer, a good listener, an organiser,a good father, very clean, sympathetic, athletic, warm,attentive, gallant, intelligent, funny, creative, tender,strong, understanding, tolerant, prudent, ambitious, capable,courageous, dependable and passionate.
Not only that, he also has to give her compliments regularly, love shopping, be honest, be very rich and not look at other girls.
Of course, he is expected to give her lots of attention, but expect little himself, give her lots of time, especially time for herself and give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes.
It is very important that men should never forget birthdays, anniversaries and arrangements she makes.
TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY...Leave him in peace...
What i think: Basically, a man has to multi-task, have an eye for details. Take notice and give compliments truthfully for her new accessories, new haircut, new eyebrow trimming, even moods n emotions, her smiles..But mind u, an overdosage will result in an adverse effect or called a honey-talker (too sweet-mouthed). So, strike a Balance!
Its ok to look at girls, but oni pretty girls (mind ur taste, pls..)..but not forgetting to add another line saying "though she's very pretty, but u r the preeetiest in my eyes!!" wahah..i'm sure it'll have a magical effect on some girls =) but not all though. =p
Be good with dates..not oni birthdays or anniversaries..but little things like first kiss/hug, the date of her ms (not so much for ovulation, but for concern and handling mood swings together), or any little 'firsts' that the both of u shared..
Appreciates the tiniest efforts she made, be it a phone call, an sms/mms, a pat of the back, small gifts, or juz wiping off some stains of ur mouth during a meal...Always say Thank You with ur heart..give a smile..basically, handling her emotions well...tough job huh..
Also, be ambitious, be rich, even if not rich, willing to spend on ur girl (yea juz like rw and james, hehe), be sweet, little things like a new candy, choco bar or handmade cards for no special occasions ..hmm.. or juz a surprise kiss or hug from behind..how sweet ya..
but..in reality, how many guys will/can do all of the above?.. Males are still the more insensitive beings..n tat's precisely the reason why lesbians emerge..haha..
TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY..
A MAN needs to be a friend, a companion, a lover, achef, an electrician, a carpenter, a plumber, a mechanic, a decorator, a phychologist, a pest exterminator, a psychiatrist, a healer, a good listener, an organiser,a good father, very clean, sympathetic, athletic, warm,attentive, gallant, intelligent, funny, creative, tender,strong, understanding, tolerant, prudent, ambitious, capable,courageous, dependable and passionate.
Not only that, he also has to give her compliments regularly, love shopping, be honest, be very rich and not look at other girls.
Of course, he is expected to give her lots of attention, but expect little himself, give her lots of time, especially time for herself and give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes.
It is very important that men should never forget birthdays, anniversaries and arrangements she makes.
TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY...Leave him in peace...
What i think: Basically, a man has to multi-task, have an eye for details. Take notice and give compliments truthfully for her new accessories, new haircut, new eyebrow trimming, even moods n emotions, her smiles..But mind u, an overdosage will result in an adverse effect or called a honey-talker (too sweet-mouthed). So, strike a Balance!
Its ok to look at girls, but oni pretty girls (mind ur taste, pls..)..but not forgetting to add another line saying "though she's very pretty, but u r the preeetiest in my eyes!!" wahah..i'm sure it'll have a magical effect on some girls =) but not all though. =p
Be good with dates..not oni birthdays or anniversaries..but little things like first kiss/hug, the date of her ms (not so much for ovulation, but for concern and handling mood swings together), or any little 'firsts' that the both of u shared..
Appreciates the tiniest efforts she made, be it a phone call, an sms/mms, a pat of the back, small gifts, or juz wiping off some stains of ur mouth during a meal...Always say Thank You with ur heart..give a smile..basically, handling her emotions well...tough job huh..
Also, be ambitious, be rich, even if not rich, willing to spend on ur girl (yea juz like rw and james, hehe), be sweet, little things like a new candy, choco bar or handmade cards for no special occasions ..hmm.. or juz a surprise kiss or hug from behind..how sweet ya..
but..in reality, how many guys will/can do all of the above?.. Males are still the more insensitive beings..n tat's precisely the reason why lesbians emerge..haha..
8.6.05
7th June..is my leave gonna be approved?
Wow..this coming sat's my ex-mgr's baby 1 mth bday!! so fast huh..like it was oni last week when she was juz born..time reali fly past me..am i dead or wat..
well well, went to sentosa last weekend..great time spent under the sunny bright orange..wif my two guy buds n 2 gals buds..one of which's a mother hen..brought us there sacrificially and stayed under the umbrella thruout, yet got more tanned dan me heheheh..though did nothing much bt was a relaxing one..since the last one last dec... =)
Week by week, day by day... im looking forward only to bonus (when when when) and pay rise...dan zhou ren liao...hai~~ wat's the point man...get more oni spend more..i wan true happiness...oh God...where should i be..what do i wan to accomplish in life?can i fast forward my life?? >>>
This weeks lonely lonely..not much ppl to lunch with..haiz..guess the whole of last wk was lunch n dinner with him for almost everyday..so this week feeling's bit...wierd...emotional dependence huh...not good...
Oh ya, serene, Ric ask if u free on 2nd July for an evangelical event at his church?James oso...mayb if cant confirm yet nvm, juz try to keep that day free ba..hehe
well well, went to sentosa last weekend..great time spent under the sunny bright orange..wif my two guy buds n 2 gals buds..one of which's a mother hen..brought us there sacrificially and stayed under the umbrella thruout, yet got more tanned dan me heheheh..though did nothing much bt was a relaxing one..since the last one last dec... =)
Week by week, day by day... im looking forward only to bonus (when when when) and pay rise...dan zhou ren liao...hai~~ wat's the point man...get more oni spend more..i wan true happiness...oh God...where should i be..what do i wan to accomplish in life?can i fast forward my life?? >>>
This weeks lonely lonely..not much ppl to lunch with..haiz..guess the whole of last wk was lunch n dinner with him for almost everyday..so this week feeling's bit...wierd...emotional dependence huh...not good...
Oh ya, serene, Ric ask if u free on 2nd July for an evangelical event at his church?James oso...mayb if cant confirm yet nvm, juz try to keep that day free ba..hehe
17.5.05
A new life is born...13th May..God shall bless this baby!!
Juz came back from ex-mgr's house.. me n my old team went to see her and her newborn baby girl..she's oni 2+ kg when born..looks so tiny with her super small-sized feet and hands..ahh so cute n adorable..wanted to carry it so much but was afraid ..coz its somebody else's baby..so muz be triple careful...ahh so better not..wonderful wonderful life being born.. =)
My ex-mgr looks quite ok.. think she's reali a strong woman..wow..pei fu.. and as usual..i shivered at the thot of the pain n everything abt the entire process they were toking abt.. ah...God has made women to be strong enough to go thru all these..someday I will understd and go thru it myself.. but now shall start to brace myself up for this.. canot wait until then..of coz..seeing the product (cute baby), u know all's the effort and pain's worth it..for sure..
Suddenli feeling a tinge of sadness in me.. sad mayb becoz i wasnt informed of this visiting..oni happen to hear fr fellow ex-a2 during lunch..and i said i wanna go.. and oso overheard them saying abt organising a team outing overseas in july..of coz i wasnt part of the plan..haiz..i juz don belong to aniwhere..not new team..not old team animore.. why issit that everywhere i go..i find no belonging??haiz
Also..envious of my ex-mgr's happily married life.. well i guessed i've oreadi made it known that i actuali yearn for this kind of life..though not the baby part yet...but to be able to live with ur loved one..juz enjoy the presence of each other all day long (except work).. how nice... well am i ready to leave my family yet? i think not too.. i will miss staying wif mom..with the kids... haiz..im in such dilemma...why cant i juz enjoy life the way it is now..i think its the work that's making me feel like this...
help..........
My ex-mgr looks quite ok.. think she's reali a strong woman..wow..pei fu.. and as usual..i shivered at the thot of the pain n everything abt the entire process they were toking abt.. ah...God has made women to be strong enough to go thru all these..someday I will understd and go thru it myself.. but now shall start to brace myself up for this.. canot wait until then..of coz..seeing the product (cute baby), u know all's the effort and pain's worth it..for sure..
Suddenli feeling a tinge of sadness in me.. sad mayb becoz i wasnt informed of this visiting..oni happen to hear fr fellow ex-a2 during lunch..and i said i wanna go.. and oso overheard them saying abt organising a team outing overseas in july..of coz i wasnt part of the plan..haiz..i juz don belong to aniwhere..not new team..not old team animore.. why issit that everywhere i go..i find no belonging??haiz
Also..envious of my ex-mgr's happily married life.. well i guessed i've oreadi made it known that i actuali yearn for this kind of life..though not the baby part yet...but to be able to live with ur loved one..juz enjoy the presence of each other all day long (except work).. how nice... well am i ready to leave my family yet? i think not too.. i will miss staying wif mom..with the kids... haiz..im in such dilemma...why cant i juz enjoy life the way it is now..i think its the work that's making me feel like this...
help..........
13.5.05
On MC..AGAIN?!?!? hehe
An interesting scenario at the clinic today..
Doc: Hi, wat's ur problem?
Me: Oh i've got menstrual cramps...
(dan i try to describe my worst experience to him..about how i can break into cold sweat, turn pale, canot focus on my work..and definitely need painkiller plus nap to recover)
..Conversation goes on abt how frequent is the pain..whether it became worst over the years...followed by physical examination of my tummy..explanation of a possible 'fibriod' or watsoever in the womb..blah blah...
Doc: how old r u?
Me:23
Doc:have u done a pap smear b4?
Me:no..
Doc:do u hav any sexual relations?coz if u hav, must start doin a pap smear..
(even if he can finish that sentence, i firmly replied him..looking straight his eyes to give him a firm look)
Doc:(still not convinced) do u have sexual intercourse?
Me:NO.......(*thinking: huh..why r u doubting me....wanted to tell him i've no bf!!and im a christian..most imptly, i've my values!!)
Doc:do u intend to do a pap smear?
Me: no no ... dont think its time yet.. (feeling disgusted at the thot of that..heart shivers..)
Doc: ok...take care..avoid pineapples n cold drinks if u can
Me: ok..i don eat pineapples one.. (opens door n leave)
Doc: Hi, wat's ur problem?
Me: Oh i've got menstrual cramps...
(dan i try to describe my worst experience to him..about how i can break into cold sweat, turn pale, canot focus on my work..and definitely need painkiller plus nap to recover)
..Conversation goes on abt how frequent is the pain..whether it became worst over the years...followed by physical examination of my tummy..explanation of a possible 'fibriod' or watsoever in the womb..blah blah...
Doc: how old r u?
Me:23
Doc:have u done a pap smear b4?
Me:no..
Doc:do u hav any sexual relations?coz if u hav, must start doin a pap smear..
(even if he can finish that sentence, i firmly replied him..looking straight his eyes to give him a firm look)
Doc:(still not convinced) do u have sexual intercourse?
Me:NO.......(*thinking: huh..why r u doubting me....wanted to tell him i've no bf!!and im a christian..most imptly, i've my values!!)
Doc:do u intend to do a pap smear?
Me: no no ... dont think its time yet.. (feeling disgusted at the thot of that..heart shivers..)
Doc: ok...take care..avoid pineapples n cold drinks if u can
Me: ok..i don eat pineapples one.. (opens door n leave)
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