29.12.05

Oh, how can I forget to blog abt 23rd eve��s eve.. had a bbq at col��s house after work..it was a fun time with them. Played a ��identify the bears�� game. Its sometin like murderer except that this game doesn��t use a wink to kill ppl, instead its more talking involved, accusing each other..a lot of conspiracy involved. U learn to lie and act as if u r innocent when u r actuali one of the civilian-killing bears.

I had to leave them earli at 11plus.. they continued with more of the bear games while I headed for mos. I would say..it was the beginning of the end. Quite a disappointing nite. Reached at 12, n the queue is still gg on..imagine a total wait of 4 hrs from 10-2am dan we��r allowed in..n even before we went in..ser is oreadi ..gone! yes, drunk like nobody��s biz. Sorry to say that but I am reali quite pissed. When she don even know wats she toking abt..didn��t even know she ran into the rubbish collecting dump to ask for directions to the loo. I wanted to go off oreadi..since I don think she shld drink anymore..but shit! I wasn��t allowed to go off..n arghhhhhh wtf la. Don feel like toking abt it. In short, I don think its worth the wait. Juz another clubbing place..music so-so..crowd��s crazy. I juz hate clubbing la.


N at the end of it, poor sam has to send me off. I hate it too! coz the one he wanna send home was sent by KK, I juz feel so extra la. Could hav juz gone home by myself. Insisted. I hate tat kind of situation.

The Last of 2005

Today police not ard.. no govt..excess time on hand..time to blog abt my Christmas!

Hmm..i reali still cant remember where I spent my 2004 christmas leh..who can help me/?

This year��s eve was spent at home. Kat volunteered to cook for me..at first wanna cook chilli prawns for me one..but coz he wanna drop by a gift..so he joined us n he cook most of the stuff instead..but tat nite wasn��t so peaceful coz whole family was ard..kids particularly naughty with ppl ard to play with..n food rationing occurs as they were too lazy to go out n buy their own dinners..n pizza delivery needs 3 hrs though its juz from punggol plaza!! After which was a long n boring nite������. No talking..no nothing..plain computer n tv watching..at the stroke of midnite..he left. It was then when me n kat started our chatting for the nite������wat a weird nite. Cant take it anymore. I juz realized..tat I don wan u to wait at all..i cant n I wont. N will never. So please, don��t.

N dan, Christmas day itself was.. baking n baking at home..thanks to kat too who stayed ard n help till 5pm plus..n we left together. I headed for james�� place..she went home. Tat was a terrible nite I would say. The food n games were good n fun��jenga was boring but that��s the beginning of the drinking session. From loser drinking one cup of red wine/chivas green tea to each player drink a mouthful before his turn..n half-one cup if he forgot to drink first..think we played so many rounds till I lost count..n dan it was poker time. N tats where I got��eh..drunk? I started with good luck with lots of blackjacks/21 pts to where I kept losing.. many many mouths of drink ..duno add up to how many cups but..i juz lose it. Head begins to spin duno when..i stop playing n concussed on..after tat was some puking..my present comes to good use..a towel..thanks to all who are there to look after me..esp wy who helps me to change my warm towels..n lends me his body to put my legs on (I don remember tis part though) ,Wilson n wy who helps me massage a bit if I didn��t remember wrongly..serene who keeps comforting me at my ear..im sorry I dun know why I broke down..i was juz reminded of my first drunk experience 1 & ? years ago..n him. I had a good cry anyway. So..it was 7am when I managed to get up n leave..concussed till 3-4pm the nx day dan.

Boxing day..actuali meant for picnic n blading with rw n qw..but I was still having a hangover so..they came over in the evening..bot me my pillow! Hee thanks! So touched coz its been such a long long long time since I last got a pressie from them!?haha..so off we went to Changi Village for some spicy tomyam fish n dim sum.. dan headed to the beach..it was such a windy nite..took some photos (hey send me leh!!) and wow..it was a starry nite too! I counted it was abt 70 stars above but they don believe n lazy to count themselves..aniwae..its been such a long time since I last look up a clear sky at the beach..i love starry nites!!

Honestly, it was only till tues morning when I woke up..which is exactly 24 hrs later..when the feeling of head spinning was gone..tats why when I drove tat bit of distance from CV to the beach, it was so dangerous..hahaa

20.12.05

Canot stand it already..

She likes to peep at my screen..

Despite a lot of barriers ard my table

She likes to squeeze thru n take a look at my screen..

Always pretends to walk past me n see what I��m doing..

Always attacking me from behind to check me out

So irritating..

Plain disgusting..

She thinks she��s a cop or wat?

Never wash hands after using the toilet

Dirtied the entire table ard her bowl of lor mee during lunch

Cough n cough polluting the air ard me..

What a mother fucker!!! ARGH!!!

Oh, happie Tuesday to all..get a life!!

19.12.05

I can say yes,

Coz I know I will be loved

You will give me all that you have..

But I cant commit my 100%..

Not you, not anyone else as of yet..

It��s not gg to be fair..

We��ll only get hurt in the end..

Even lose the friendship when things don��t work out..

Why risk it?

Why bother?

Only Time can tell..

1.12.05

~Love is merely a madness~

Recently��s been down on luck.. getting turned down by frenz..fly aeroplane by ppl..neglected..hurt..feeling disappointed and affected emotionally..again I feel my unimportance, how insignificant n how neglectable I am

It must be due to me being too quiet at times.. I appear unconcerned, cold, cool, and i don usuali ask abt personal things..cant handle properly a heart-to-heart talk..unless under the influence of alcohol n ambience + soothing music.

When in actual fact, I am concerned , I pray for my frenz, I don interfere their personal lives but am willing to lend a ear..though I don tok much abt my own, but I will tell when frenz who are really concerned asked..n sometimes its not that I don wanna disclose anitin, but there is nothing in fact to say..somehow..the way I express myself makes them feel that im hiding things ..the more I try to appear honest n get their trust, the more I wreck things up.. * bish*

Isit my hormones..causing the overflow of emotions..or isit too much time on hand that makes me think too much? Or..maybe juz one typical trait of a cancerian..or rather, its juz..me.

Now, life is stable,but still ..sucks.. unnecessary problems at home..unbearable behavior of the kids has waken this dormant volcano in me..after staying as a good girl for 23 yrs..i feel like turning things upside down..throwing away the so-called principles that im holdin on in life, trashing the rules n regulations, gg against the norms and expectations from society n family..

I wish someone is standing by me..helping me pull thru when things get harder..

I wish I can spice up my life..

I wan to do things which I have not done b4 thruout these 23 years

I wish to make my presence felt wherever I go

I pray that life will not juz be normal, it should be filled with fun, excitement and peace

I wan to overcome my hydrophobia and needle(o)phobia

Think I��m having an emotional/mental crisis..

I wan to go for a year end holiday..i can buy subload tics n fly by myself to..er..bj?tw?hk?hmmm��I need sometin to look forward to!!
The oni person who excites me now is my takeshi!!hope I can see him!!

28.11.05

Cast your cares on the Lord
and He will sustain you;
He will never let the righteous fall.

Psalm 55:22

22.11.05

About En



Location : Singapore
First cry : 15th July
Loves : Rollerblading, Movies, Ktv, Chilling out,My takeshi & lee hom

#mEaNwHiLe*
+ purpose
+ closer
+ less late nites/booze
+ more love, more joy, more seriousness n initiative

*Priority travel locations!#
* Japan!!
* Taiwan!!
* Korea - Snow?!!
* getaway to a beach resort- Redang?!
* anywhere else in the whole wide world..
* I miss london.. miss my eurotrip.. miss the memories..

*wat $ can buy#
+ Ipod video
- new camera
- new phone
- levi's jeans
- sports jacket
- watch
- tripod
- new bearings
- wallet
- laptop
- more workin clothes la..

13.11.05

Quite a dull wkend though..how?i feel old..hai..

Saw this pitiful kitty while having my dept lunch @ changi village hotel's Saltwater rest.


Pains me to see it being so tiny n weak..feels like bringin it hm to nurse it..but..haiz..if i hav my own hse..i will..


See the diff in size..3 others r looking healthy while it is so small..n always being bullied.


The bigger ones look so healthy n active..very cute


They stay at the outdoor area n kind waiters serve them milk ^_^


Went Orchard Rd on fri nite, n Christmas' mood is everywhere!


Very nice colourful lightings this year!


Argh..no proper camera this year to capture them..so can oni use my hp cam..sobz..


i like this lamppost lookin like a christmas tree..


n this is the big n colourful christmas tree in ngee ann city..so much nicer dan previous year's


Ha!!the Nippon dog is spotted at hmv's spinelli!the dog owner is so proud of his big n cute dog!caused quite a commotion there..its juz so darn cute!!Cuter than the one in my hse!ha!


n Sat,mom woke me up to bring the kids to aunt's hse for a swim..gosh..n i spent the whole afternoon on this chair while they were out there enjoying the water..haha..i gonna work hard for this chair! It's simply too Shiok!!

10.11.05

Necolle Collection..cute cute cats ^_^

This is my current collection, added two new ones today..Happie!! Wanted to dump 2 more $1 coins to try my luck to collect all 6!!But coz mom is ard so..haha..better not later she say im crazy..but they r so cute little cats!!I will keep them for life!!



Somebody is selling all six for 11bucks at http://page.auctions.yahoo.com/sg/auction/93395049


As u can see, i'm missing the two very very cute white cats with pink n yellow ball!!Argh!!!I shall go back to try my luck sometime again b4 new toys come into those machines!!

God bless me...

9.11.05

A dedicated post

I know u will be reading this, like u know i will be reading urs as well. U hav been using ur blog to tell me alot of things indirectly.But i havent reali told u much in person nor in here.Coz its wierd to publish these sort of things.

But this will be different.Coz i know from my pt of view, things are always very clear.

I've made it known to u since many years ago..that im always afraid of giving u wrong impressions n a sense of false hope whenever i go out with you. But as the years go by, i still harbour the hope of keeping this pure frenship as i see that u can handle ur feelings better.

All i can say is, I'm reali honoured and glad that i can be so special in ur heart. Thanks for all the little n sweet things that you hav done for me over these years. Yes, though its on and off, i pretty much understand the reason behind..your $1 theory of betting and watsoeva..though i firmly do not agree in this..coz love is not abt choosing where to lay bigger bets and spread out the remaining amt..but i do respect ur thinking coz i certainly do not wish tat someone waste so much time on me n me alone. N to be honest, there were times when i feel reali touched by ur actions and seriously thot of giving u a chance, but the realistic n practical side of me told me not to. I can accept u and we can be happy together in the short term, neglecting LT thots on future and character compatibility. But i dare not enter into yet another not-so-promising relnship. Its not the rich guy theory tat u think k..though im always toking abt becoming a tai tai or becoming a full time housewife..

Aniwae, we r just different in our thinking and our beliefs. I hav my own wierd thinking, and u hav urs too. U fall in love easily, but i don. And sadly, our common pt is that we r both too emotional. But wat i have learnt from u thruout our frenship is how to be more adventurous in life, and how to be serious n put in effort in doing the things u like and for the person u love.

N u know, i hate it when i hav to avoid u when i sense things r not rite. as much as u hate it when u cant control urself rite? n dan u begin to avoid me, hoping that i will contact u first. But, like i've told u b4, i wont initiate asking u out coz its precisely this cycle tat im afraid of happening again..n i don wan to take the blame for causing u to hav that little bit of hope.

No, U r not lousy. At least not to me. Coz I do like the little things that u will do to brighten up my life. Certainly, alot of guys are not able to do these or even understand the importance of such efforts. And i do enjoy ur company all these while.

Time will change ur thinking for the better. I've seen ur thinking matured abit more over the years..and I do hope our after 30+years old agreement will be effective as of now.

26.10.05

Gonna try this sometime soon.

Philadelphia Oreo Cheesecake

Ingredients:
1 pkg. (1 lb. 2 oz.) OREO Chocolate Sandwich Cookies, divided
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter or margarine,melted
4 pkg. (8 oz. each) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
4 eggs

Preparation:
PREHEAT oven to 325. Place 30 of the cookies into a food processor container; cover. Process 30 to 45 seconds or until finely ground. Add butter; mix well. Press firmly onto bottom of 13x9-inch backing pan.

BEAT cream cheese, sugar and vanilla in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until well blended. Add sour cream; mix well. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating just until well blended after each addition.

CHOP remaining cookies. Gently stir 1 1/2 cups of the chopped cookies into the cream cheese batter. Pour over crust; sprinkle with the remaining chopped cookies.

BAKE 45 minutes or until center is almost set. Cool. Refrigerate 3 hour or overnight.

Notes:Cut into 16 pieces. Store leftover cheesecake in refridgerator.

20.10.05

Your Kissing Purity Score: 89% Pure
You've hardly ever been kissed
But the kisses you've given are very missed
Kissing Purity Test

9.10.05

The SIA Song

The world can see we've come a long long way
You have to work to stay ahead today
And even more we know we must improve
We have to learn to keep us on the move


Lets step into the future
Lets do it all with style
We're proud to be a part of
That Singapore Girl smile
We're Singapore Airlines, Singapore Airlines
We're Singapore Airlines, Singapore Airlines
We'll do better every day
And be the team that shows the way
'Cause we want everyone to say
We're a great way to fly

And so let's take our pride and confidence
And show the world pursuit of excellence
No finer fleet has ever seen the air
We'll give it all for the success we'll share

(repeat chorus)

This is no joke man. This is SIA's company song. I sang it once during my induction course.Haha.

Dont ask me to sing it to u coz i forgot the tune.

But this song exist..ask any ppl from SIA, any stewards/stewardess or pilots/cadet pilots u know..

wahaha

2.10.05

Some pics

Jay's dog..Brandy


Kat's dog..Kaizer


Husky..





Fri nite @ taka..waited 3 hrs for jay..poor student..


Went to The Beach Hut @ ECP..




Sat..a day of crab cookin..yummy~~


Delicious crispy cheesey Pizza Bread


Caught in the act!!Yum!


That's all for the updates...been sleepin late for 2 nites at 5-6am..coz of Husky the Dog tat attracted pity n love from my frens..haha

Oh..can't believe Im starting work on monday..lucky still got 2 days induction course at SIA training centre ..shld be no need much brain work there..haha..mon dad sendin me..tue not..haiz..how leh..no bus to upper changi rd there..cab is ex..so near yet so far...haiz..

Oh Father, be with me~~

27.9.05

Updates..

time.... realli flies... to think back on my last job in pasir ris..how i gotten my pox..the first two days of hell-like itch n pain..my first day of 'freedom' out of the hse..wat an exciting(?) and fulfilling(?) sept!! Its seems a little long but its all in a month..unbelievable.

Yes, i admit i have REALLY rested Enough..3 wks MC, 1 wk Leave, and this last week of 'jobless' stage..my mind's oreadi hibernating for long enuff..so is my body. How do i get myself back on the working life phase? I think i can only let stress n tiredness overtake my body once again..tats juz life huh..

Well, ask me wat i did for the entire month, i cant remember much. Not even wat i did last tuesday. memory's failing me every once in a while. Recency effect. But aniwae, things worth remembering are the long hours of sleep i had everyday, the frustration n mess i get from the kids facing them 24hrs a day, my pox n scars?!?!?!, late nights watching Full House, 2 nites of movie @ padang (finishing my baileys..sobz..), malacca trip, last day in office, shopping on weekdays (no crowd!), ktv sessions, packing a bit of my room, buying n selling stuff, cutting n rebonding my hair (hehe), sucky service in cheesecake cafe(refer to moo's blog),gathering with my primary sch frens, baking cheese cake thanks to recipe n advice fr Jong..and ya got a new husky.

of coz, they are not all, but i guess most of the time im daydreaming or slacking ard..time juz passed by me..esp at nite when i cant sleep..my mind's wondering ard. thinkin abt alot of things tat are non-crucial n time-consuming yet never-ending..argh..its in a mess.

Always in a lazy mode, all day, all nite..wat is there in life that can perk me up?

I need some excitement man..i need to..........................i hate this word but........CHANGE.

25.9.05

Adapted from devian's blog..hehe..its surprising to know tat u share the same cancerian traits..haha

CanCer LoVe PrOfIlE

Cancer - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:You're intuitive enough to know what's going wrong in a relationship early onA total sweetheart - you're often the most caring person anyone knowsYou are a generous and devoted parter to whoever you fall in love with

Your negative traits:Insecurity - you tend to need a huge amount of comforting from your partnerYou tend to be overly sensitive and easily hurt, which make loving you difficultIt's difficult to predict your moods. One minute you're up - the next you're down.

Your ideal partner:Someone equally sensitive, who wants to take time to get to know you deeplyDreams of an everlasting love - complete with marriage and a familyLoves to take care of you. Being a good cook and masseuse doesn't hurt!

Your dating style:Slow. You enjoy dates that last all day, with plenty of time to talk and get to know one another.

Your seduction style:Quite tender and loving, once you are comfortable in your relationship.Coy. You tend to play it cool to drive your lover wild.Orally talented - you're known as the best kisser in the zodiac.

Tips for the future:Be a little less sensitive. Not every little mistake should hurt you.Spend time away from your partner every so often - independence is a good thing.Find ways to take care of yourself. You'll be happier if you put yourself first.

Best color to attract mate: Aqua

Best day for a date: Wednesday

15.9.05

Seafood Dinner

Had dinner with my big family at ECP Jumbo Restaurant..coz its the last nite of my er-sao's parents stay..so its like a farewell cum family gathering..

Of coz..i thot i could withstand the temptation of the delicious seafood..but..hhaa

My dad said better not to eat too much ..so he handed me a Chili Crab Claw..

wow..its superb..

͵�Ô½�"��"�ĸо�����ˬ!!

the debris..


still got leftovers..everybody's full..i wished i could help finish it though..sobz


Newly renovated seafood restaurants along the beach..


The evening sea scenery..


Oh my da-sao told me her colleagues are asking why im not starting work there yet..hehe..she says im assigned to audit the head-offices team..local one..same as her..audit the cabin crew op, front op, treasury, etc..hmm..wats great is she say my team ppl are all nice ppl..and tat this job will give me a balanced life if that's the reason why i left EY..more time for family and frens..hehe

Cant stand my big bro n da-sao lovey-doveyness..esp my big bro..always so sweet..i noticed whenever he's a step ahead of her, he will reach back with his hand to guide hers into his arms..so sweet~~really ��Ľ ah.. if only my sec bro will learn from him!!haha oso noticed my sec bro's beer tummy is as big as my dad's!!haha..lazy bum!!

My last weekend well-spent!!

well well..i spent my last weekend on a short trip..

to Malacca.. Cameraless..oni equipped wif a 2.0mp hp camera..haha..simple yet..enough..

Got a hotel when we reached there..

Its a small small place..

But with rich flavours of nice architectures of old churches and wartime memorial buildings..

Had chicken rice balls for lunch, rojak and 'satay' steamboat for dinner..red wine n beer at Geographer's for a good nite chill-out..

Had a great sleep till 1pm the next day..

Another super hot day ..walking ard to see more buildings.. drank bubble tea and ate great n cheap bak kwa..went into a cute sovenier shop like the one i saw in KL..but this time didnt buy much stuff..would hav bot lots of nice small bottles of sands n shells..cute teddies..keychains...if i hav more space to display at home..hehe

dinner at a nice restaurant serving western n asian food..ate asam fish, sweetnsour chicken, nonya chup cham and had beer.. the place resembles those fancy restaurants in clarke quay, sitting by the river..bothered by the mosquitos..haha..

n dan its Geographer's again..definitely not as crowded as sunday..coz no live band..oni drank their in-house cocktail which taste like honeydew juice n skittles syrup =p Additional bottle of vodka to end the nite..n prepare to rest for journey home..

woke up to an american style of simple toast,eggs and sausage..off to buy coach tics n headed for home sweet home..thats's a weekend well spent =)

8.9.05

PLEASE pardon ME

BUT i realii wanna curse n swear!!!!!!

FUCK EY COMPUTER DEPT LA!!!!!!!

TELL ME THEY CHARGE OT WRONGLY TO MY EMPLOYEE ID....

WHICH MEANS I HAVE NEGATIVE 49HRS OF OT WHICH I UTILISED WRONGLY..

WAT THE FUCK LA!!!!

WAT THEY GONNA DO>>MEANS WHOLE 1 YR I ONI GOT 20 HRS OF OT INSTEAD OF THE 69HRS AS REFLECTED IN THE DATABASE..N WHICH I CHARGED TO OREADI FOR MY TAIWAN TRIP

SO NOW THEY GONNA REVERSE IT OUT N OFFSET AGAIN MY 12 DAYS OF PATHETIC LEAVE TO BE USED FOR THE NX TWO WKS?!SO AM I EXPECTED TO GO BACK WORK FOR A WK NX WK OR CHARGE MY TIME TO UNPAID LEAVE?!

WHICH MEEANS THESE 2 WKS OF CHICKEN POX SICK LEAVE THEY GONNA DEDUCT MY PAY..N FUCKIN WRONG OT THEY GONNA DEDUCT ANOTHER 1 WK PAY ..SO TAT I CAN TAKE 2 WKS LEAVE SAFELY B4 MY LAST DAY..TAT LEAVES ME WITH JUZ 1 WK PAY FOR THE ENTIRE SEPT?!?!?!?!?!

WHAT THE FUCK LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

6.9.05

Freedom's near!

Hee, after eight full days at home, today was my first day out in the open. The fresh air smeellls simply Great! The touch of the sun on my skin feels refreshing too!!I sense my freedom coming!!Real soon!!

The night was spent chauffeuring my parents and the kids to bedok.. my parents wana meet their frens for discussion on their hk cum macau trip..but first we went to bedok interchg coz i wanna see vcds n hp shops.n surprise!!there's pasar malam at intg!!haha how i reali miss bedok n the pasar malam here juz cant be compared to those small scale ones in punggol!!but as the kids are a real nuisance as usual, my dad drove them to my old neighbourhood kopitiam to meet their frens first..while i walk alone at the pasar malam..

A peek at the stalls n ppl..stay away from me for im infectious!!



its the mooncake festival soon!!Aww...i miss my old childhood times..playing lanterns n candles at the playgrd with my budds..hai~~



After which i took a bus back to my old market..i reali miss the feelin of takin buses from intchg to my old hse..as i walk from the busstop, cross the familiar road, and reach blk 65.. lots of memories came flowing back..how i juz wish i still stay here..this the familiar path home..



Wanted to meet LL up for small chat..but who knows she took ages to go hm fr chinatown..by then the kids were already messin my parents up..so off we go..reali enjoyed myself tonite..n i juz love driving my bro's car!! haha!!

oh ya i bought lanterns for the kids! $1 each oni!!might be gg back bedok 2mr to get my phone..hmm~~

3.9.05

~Saturday Fever~

Jesus! I cant believe I've spent 6 FULL days in my room!! My tiny little room.. with a tv set, dvd player, mini-hifi, computer, air-con.. and lots of bears..

I love being at home.. n its been such a long time since i spent so many consecutive days at home, without the need to go to work. Its a great feeling to not go to work..wake up everyday with no aim, watch tv till im sleepy..take nap..wake up for more porridge n tv...n nite time comes again for sleep..took medicine at 4 hrs interval..so time seems to fly very fast

Last nite was my third time watchin Shall we dance.. cant believe i can watch it so many times but i have watched all my dvds oreadi..aniwae..it was still as touching, still as sweet..and still as heart-warming.. ;)

Poor Jiayi went for jab yesterday..came back crying so hard tat my heart pains..as though i took the jab myself. I feel its my fault for makin her take the jab..but its good for her oso..coz she know she can come close to me after the jab..b4 tt my mom kept scaring her whenever she tries to come in..make me feel as if im a freak..now she says she has the jab oreadi wont catch chicken pox from me..hee..

Its wkend but i cant go out..its a mixed feeling..though there's not much places to hang out during wkends.. Im missing even places like changi airport..to be able to hang out at the viewing mall now seems so impossible for me.. n i miss taiwan a lot more..miss the food there..the malls there..the streets...even hongkong..whenever i watch taiwan or hk shows..i juz feel like flyin back there asap..awwww......

For ppl who still duno..I've tendered last last fri on 26th Aug.. didnt reali get to celeb that nite coz i was down with fever since tat day..how pathetic can it be..so this is my 1 mth notice spent at home..2 wks of MC and 2 wks clear leave..think i juz hav to go back office someday for counsellin n exit interview..n on 23rd sept for clearance on my official last day. My new job has been postponed to Oct.. all becoz of this pox..juz pray for a smooth starting ya.. =)

31.8.05

Anybody knows if there;s any cream to apply for my chicken pox?

Im seriously freaked out by the number of pox i burst at nite in my sleep...

sobz...

I need some cream to reduce the scarring...

Help...

21.8.05

he has left.. only be back in either half a yr or a yr later...

a lot of mixed feelings..

his msg this morning..makes me realised tat wat i thot was wrong..

i thot he was quite irresponsible.. to tell me his feelings..and dan do nothing abt it.. ever since our first meeting here..he didnt ask me out animore.. n seldom contact me..

but in actual fact..it was becoz he was afraid tat his feelings will deepen if we meet up again.. and he still has to leave now..

i feel relieved to know his true feelings.. knowing tat he is not tat kind of person whom i initially thot.. he cant be..from tat way he tells me tins abt himself..from the way he interacts with his family..from the beginning i start to know him..right in his own place of belonging..i saw his real self.

All i can say is... it was a feeling tat wasnt give any chance at all to develop.. for fear of the unknown.. to think back.. i think its abit 'ke xi' .. both of us might feel tat bit of regret..but still..if it was allowed to...tins might nt get any better.. ~~hai

Thanks for all the nice memories tat u've given me, I wish u all the best..

I'll c u in a yr's time.

Your Birthdate: July 15
With a birthday on the 15th of any month, you are apt to have really strong attachments to home, family and domestic scene.
The 1 and 5 equaling 6, provide the sort of energy that makes you an excellent parent or teacher.
You are very responsible and capable.

This is an attractive and an attracting influence.
You like harmony in your environment and strive to maintain it.
You tend to learn by observation rather than study and research.

You may like to cook, but you probably don't follow recipes.
This number shows artistic leanings and would certainly support an talents that may be otherwise in your makeup.
You're a very generous and giving person, but perhaps a bit stubborn in ways.

10.8.05

"some day...conscience will get over the better of me
n i will realise
money is reali juz a materialistic thing
n reali life means more dan havin money to spend
dan i will reali quit it
n get some life"


This was wat i said to someone in May..

Somehow...

its coming true...

Too soon?too fast?...

'Why give up a better pay?' was the most commonest qn i get..

frenz..if u r my frenz..pls giv me motivation..

i wan to believe there's more to life dan juz.. money..

I love n hate it..

3.8.05

This week u'll find me at Blk 820, Woodlands St 82

No,no, i don live there, and yes, my client is there...

a playground in front of the blk, some ma-ma-shops ard, a neighbourhood plaza nearby...

makes me miss staying in bedok!!!!!!

argh..

n client is a frenly bunch of malays..

n the place is filled with monkeys running ard nx door..bangin onthe walls..screaming n jumping like..monkeys..

Tired ...

28.7.05

why am i so suay..always kena do conso..after the past 2 mths of struggling with E company conso..now i hav to mingle with the B company figures..they are driving me crazy for 3 whole days!! I hope 2mr i can do sometin else..relaxing..haha

Figures are making me sleepy in office..i hate them..my eyesight deteriorated probably becoz of the laptop and the figures...

My nose feels sore from all the running n rubbing.. red nose already..sobz.. n throat's feeling very dry n irritated somemore..guess work is reali making my body sick physically n mentally..

hope the vit C tat i bought helps build up my immune sys.. n im running out of my Shaklee GLA complex pills..coz there's no more 20% discount in Guardian..argh...juz when my pay comes out for me to replenish them..now i cant buy animore..its a whole 10bucks diff for every bottle!!

Gee.. feels like gg for a short wkend trip again..

I miss Batam.. But i miss Taiwan's the Most!!

25.7.05

Another weekend gone..Is this all life is about?

Up to the altivo we went.. having been to Mount faber once, the scenery still doesnt impress me much..fact tat HK's Peak has left a deeper memory in me.. and the recency effect of Taiwan's prettiful mountains..well..this is still singapore aniwae~~

So had another peaceful nite spent there..drank a peach martini..each of us had a drink n total bill was 50bucks..when we wanted to pay, we discovered a rather wierd n disgustin policy of altivo's..tat being seated at the sofa seats, we actuali had to accumulate a bill of 70 bucks as a minimum spending!! Argh..how angry we were when we heard tat..coz we weren't told abt it..nor did we see any notices abt it..so the Business Law module i studied in uni came to my mind..sometin abt..if customers aren't told n there's no prominent notices telling us that, we actually hav the right to not pay..So we got our first waiter to hear us out, and luckily he knew we stepped in b4 9pm, and told us the rule doesnt hav to apply to us coz its oni effective after 9pm..haha..so off we went..for supper at bedok 85..dan our big superstar fan came to join us..haha..i find the bak chor mee still quite nice n tasty..mayb coz long time nver go bedok le..n fried oyster was ok oni coz we got the wrong stall lah..ended up poor rw had diarrhoea n fever the nx day coz he helped us ate all the oysters!!haha...rest well n recover fast ya..don think of gg out wif ur mei mei liao la..haha..who ask u don wanna acc me go blade..=ppppp Now u hav all the time to do ur PROJECT at home lo..whahaha evil me ;)

24.7.05

Chijmes ~ Insomniaz

Had a great nite out with jason at chijmes..great place for a peaceful fri nite dinner followed by drinks at Insomnia, where there's live band n everybody's dancing..Its an enjoyable time for us to chat n know each other more..hehe..

Thanks for all the cats present, card, 'fu dai', its been a long time since i last received so many cat-bundled present le..n thanks to david too for the kitty hand-crafted soap..all these are the stuff i saw in taiwan..but didnt left much money to buy back for myself!!hehe

Oh last nite was big full moon again..perfectly suited for the peaceful night.

17.7.05

another 15th July..gone~~

yup..im 23 oreadi..actuali i like to see my age increase..the older i get, the more i feel i shld be responsible for my own life. Ideally, i'll find my One by 25, walk a further 3 yrs hand-in-hand till 28, n start to settle down by then, have a family..hmm..tats my ideal plan la..guess its nothing diff fr the other gals as well..

yea i did hav a happier birthday this july 15th. Guessed all knows tat last yr's july 15 was my convocation day, it marked the end of my student life..the start of a new beginning. Of coz, it was also the end of my past 1 yr relnship..first n only one so far. Yes, like wat he said, if we're still together, it will be our 2nd yr anniversary. But well.. it's not sometin within our control..so we'll juz hav to leave it to the One above.. Im juz glad that he's leading on his life n sch well so far..wat's urs, urs..

hmm..this bdae nite..spent with serene shumin n gang at milenia walk's Paulaner and Zee10. Luckily's attention not all on me since david n james are july babies too..hehe..thanks to my two sisters, rand, wilson, and james for protectin me fr the evil-minded david..hehe..i turn out safe n unharmed..its a simple but great bdae nite well spent. Didnt drink too much n it was juz nice, i thought. N i also got a surprise call from J at 11.30pm..juz half an hr left of my bdae..hehe..reali appreciated it..thks..

well..not forgettin to mention the self-cooked bdae lunch, comprising black pepper pork chops, waffle fries, tomato omelette, lettuces and salad...wat a Feast! n white wine tat makes me bit seh in bright daylight..haha

Hopefully this marks a new beginning in my life..gonna be another transition stage of 'career-switching'??hehe let's see how as time goes by..Thank God for all the blessings in my life now..i'll always remember to count them, the tiny ones too =)

14.7.05

guys, thanks for the outback steak

anyway..

13.7.05

gers, thanks for the top n silly dinga-lookalike cat...

n the durian n mangosteen n tearoom was fantastic time too!

9.7.05

Taiwan..great memories..great place n ppl..=)

ok, lazed ard for a day..its time to jot down abt the fun things tat i did while i'm in Taiwan...hmm..hope my memory won't fail me...

Day1: Reached Taipei ard evening six pm.. got introduced to david's taiwanese fren, Jason. He's one cute chap..n he's the one who brought us ard for the nx 2-3 days..So after checkin into Kilin Hotel (disappointed liling kept scolding me for bookin such an old rundown one, but i was feelin indifferent.juz need a bed to lie on n tv to watch wat.=p), we headed for Shilin Night Market with two groaning stomachs (blame jetstar for the food).Decided to join e two guys as Jason was saying they would be gg up to YangMingShan..so we met them at Shilin, ate HaoDa Ji Pai (simply Great), Zhu Xue Gao (simply disgusting), and many others.
Nx, Jason's aunt took us up to YangMingShan for the night scenery.It was a peaceful place..scenery wasnt as good as HK's one though..n its filled wif teenagers..mainly couples who sat a little too close for whispering sweet nothings into each others' ears.Their culture was like..quite diff fr ours i would say..had it be in Singapore, we wld all be kpo-ing into wat that guy is saying to his gf dan to concentrate on wat our bf are tellin us.haha.Its juz..so lack of privacy!!Aniwae..soon we headed back to our hotel for an early morning the nx day to Jiu Fen.

Day2:Took JieYun(MRT) to meet Jason n david, dan we headed to take a train to Jiu Fen. It was a real hot day..but the day went great..I simply love tat place alot!We took a bus up the mountain..i got some cute soveniers fr a shop..ate great BBQ honey cuttlefish, fishball soup, Muah Chee Bing, Smelly tofu (taste n smell like deep shit hole), n lots of other nice food. Great view of the Lao Jie, very cosy feel i wld say, took quite some pics of the streets..Went to visit some tourist attractions like the Jap prince's lodge and a Gold mine.Saw a back lane that looks like where Haojun n Xiaoruo in XinDong kissed..hehe..n Jason tried posing as a passerby and asked us to take pic of his back view walking..haha..After all the fun, we rested at a small tea inn in the late noon, and wow..tats the kind of feel u can nver get in singapore,resting on a cosy sofa mattress, lookin over the mountains..saw the sun settin but juz too cloudy fr above..wat a relaxing time well spent!!
Dinner was at a small shop, GongWanTang plus noodle n ZhuPaiFan..such simplicity yet it was delicious!!If oni singapore serves such good food..n the shop was like, full of the lady owner's pic..haha..At nite, we took a bus downhill, n took a train back to taipei..it was a fun n tiring day.Yet the day's not ending coz later in the nite, after gg back to hotel for bath n packing some clothes, we headed to Jason's aunt hse for a ride to his grandparents hse in TaiChung.it was abt 2-3 hrs ride..of coz we all slept..except poor Jason's stayin awake so he can accompany his aunt..wat a good boy!!hehe..
When we reached, aunt bought us each a ShengJianBao..Jason bought some RuWei to bring back to ahgong's hse for supper..wow..tat Bao was simply great for me..heated up my cold body from the car's aircon..n it tasted better dan the Shilin's one!!
Ahgong's hse was a two storey hse located in a small town..tat part of the town was considered the teachers' estate as tats where all the teachers stay n his ahgong used to be one..i love that place coz it feels cosy, everyone knows everyones..n theres no need to lock up!!too bad i forgot to take a pic of tat place..haiz..aniwae, tat nite..four of us slept together coz there's aircon in oni one of the rms..hehe..bit cramped i guess..but still the sleep was enuff to recharge our bodies!!

heading for supper now..be back for day 3 onwards soon!!

Day3:bfast was at a shop nearby selling healthy food.we ate Danbing and a veg popiah-lookalike..with some soy drink..reali a healthy yet tasty bfast..n the rest of the day was ahgong driving us ard Taichung.Ahgong's such a nice host coz he purposely stop his car along the road when he sees nice lychee plantation..went out of his car to buy us a big big pack of freshly plucked lychees!wow..tasty!!n the seed's so small u'll nver imagine it to be!David love them!n he cant stop eating haha..
Our first stop was WenWuMiao on top of Ri Yue Tan..it was a majestic building..inside don reali look like a temple..coz its not packed with ppl n josssticks n smoke..rather more like a tourist attraction sort of historic building overlookin the lake..nice view on the top..dan ahgong took us ard the swivering mountain to yet another temple..he reali took us up to let us sight-see while he sleeps in the car..but the four of us was like..nt very interested in the temple..n more of slackin ard the nice Zen-feel garden..i came up with an idea of using the quartz-lookalike white stones as chalks..dan me n liling drew on the stone paths..took pix..played five stones..haha..almost an hr spent there restin ba..
Nx, somehow the uneven mountainous circulating roads makes us sleepy..ahgong drove us down to CheChen train station located at the foot of the mountain.tats a nice nice place too coz of the old railway tracks..the wooden built station..the water flowing stream below..its a very peaceful place..
And it was evening time again..tired ahgong took us back to his hm for a rest..soon after we headed for a walk ard the small town n dan dinner at a shop selling lamb meat..the meal was nice with the fried lamb meat with some veg..but it didnt end well coz i unknowingly but willingly ate the mysterious part of tat goat.Argh...made my mouth stinks whole nite..make me wanna puke..worst coz i juz finished my bubbletea b4 i ate tat piece!!argh!!Pui!!
After dinner, jason n ahgong went to bought some fireworks for us to play. Hmm..at first it was quite scary to me..having lite up the firework n gonna run fast..its thrilling yet scary la..but soon i joined them into lighting all of them up..taking pics..reali a very enjoyable thing.
After tat, Jason took me ard the town in his grandma's scooter..knowin i wan to try n also learn..hehe..when i first sat on it n he moved at quite a fast speed..being my first time on a bike..it was so exciting yet frightening experience! Dan he took me to a quieter lane somewhere for me to learn..well..first try is tat its not tat easy!!however, i picked it up after some tries n off i go scooting ard in circles ard tat carpark..n slowly progressed onto the smaller roads with him behind me..hee so proud of myself to ride a bike n also carryin a passenger!!haha
we headed back to our hotel by coach..I sort of miss them when i have to go..miss the house..the back alley..the small town..the nice n frenly ahgong n ahma..

Day4:well, after 3days of intense touring ard..we woke a little later..went for brunch and went to a ITmall called GuangHuaShangChang located at ZhongXiaoDunHua.Its quite small scale..i bought a mouse n earphones while liling bought a handphone. After tat we headed to Taipei101 to shop..but didnt see much except branded stuff all ard..not my type..so we went toXiMenDing for the rest of e day.Didnt buy alot of stuff..but spent quite some money to catch those cute soft toys in the machines!!somehow got addicted to the game n keep playing whenever we see those machines..Dinner was at TGIFriday's. n we headed back to Shilin again for shopping this time round..bought a pair of jeans..she bought me a pair of pants as my adv bdae pressie..shop n walk till my legs gonna break..as a matter of fact, my legs hurt even from the first few days..loser..

Day5:of coz..woke up naturally late again..hehe..headed further downtown first to BeiTou for hotspring..yes it was real hot..abit cant take the heat..think its mor suitable during winter time ba..but if the water reali has healing power..dan let's see abt it..haha.. after relaxin at the tea lounge..we headed to DanShui in the evening. Its a place located beside a river where the YuRenMaTou is..artistry feel coz u can see artists all ard..sketchin human portraits with charcoal pens..singers singing along the strees for attention..of coz its a long stretch of stalls selling TieDan,n a LaoJie selling similar stuff as Shilin..stalls of seafood n stuff..games stalls..our money's all spent n we have no money for a proper seafood dinner!so we ate cheap beehoon n fishballs in a small shop for dinner..thoroughly enjoyed it coz of the simplicity of it..though tight budget..but enuff to fill stomach plus another honey green tea with pearls after dinner..wow..n juz enuff train money back to hotel..haha.Went back hotel, changed more money n headed to The wall. A pub like place with live band..think we got there too late..the band sang 1 chinese song n all the rest's in Hokkien!!Haiz..but still..quite an ok place to hang out for youngsters..
The rest of the nite was spent at ChengPin Bookstore which is operating for 24hrs a day. Saw a real cute boyish promoter for NuSkin products..hehe. Quite charming looks n a pair of bright double-eyelid eyes..Stayed ard the bookstore..liling bought LeeHom's biography book..dan headed back to hotel for rest.She packed tat nite..But i juz concussed.

Last Day..Day 6..we headed out individually for some time alone..she bought even more stuff..as for me..walked ard Ximending again..it was a rainy weather..somehow represented my feelings..was feelin a bit yi yi bu she..but still..life has to go back to normal.

Somehow..during these 6 days..alot ppl called me up..from office..3 of them called! hai..msgs also..more dan normal..when im in singapore..ppl don look for me..when i go overseas..dan ppl msg me..hai my bill gonna cost me a bomb!

Taiwan'S A GREAT PLACE!!

i wan to blog abt my taiwan trip..but am so lazy..

21.6.05

LoOong post....

Today, my senior was telling me about how the directors at the board meeting started the meeting with a prayer.. it was reali quite unusual for a company to do a prayer at a formal meeting, but im real glad to know tat, and though its juz a general prayer to ask for blessings for everyone present and for the meetin to go smoothly..though its not some sort of a christian organisation..hmm..

Oso, she saw a poster tat read sometin like tat (according to her memory..)

A man was unsure of Christ's love for him. So one day, when he met Christ, he asked Him,
"How much do You love me??"
Then, Christ said "This much",
and then He died.

Got it? think it thru..mayb some parts of it were missing..so its abit abrupt and incoherent..i tried to find a similar one on the Net but didnt managed to..aniway i needed her to repeat abt 2-3 times b4 i got it..coz she simply read it out..i guess it shld be clearer when written down..with the " and stuff.. It sort of touched my heart at tat moment..it reminded me of His first love for me.. I feel so guilty for neglecting..yet so helpless for not being able to do much for Him at this point in time..the next passage describes what im feeling now..

Preparing For Heaven
Read:
Psalm 63
O God, You are my God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for You. --Psalm 63:1


Some people openly declare that they don't want to go to heaven. I've had people tell me that they would rather be with their drinking buddies in hell than with the church-going crowd in heaven.

Most people, however, say they hope to go to heaven when they die, but I've often wondered what makes them think they would be happy there. They ignore Jesus Christ and want nothing to do with God. They show no interest in Bible reading, prayer, and worship. Why would they suddenly enjoy fellowship with God on the other side?

Although David makes no reference in Psalm 63 to spending eternity with God, there is no doubt about his deep longing for God. And I believe that the godly attitudes and actions we are nurturing in our lives here and now prepare us for heaven's enjoyments throughout eternity.

That raises some heart-searching questions. We say we want God in our lives, but how passionately do we seek fellowship with Him? How much time do we spend reading His Word, praying, and worshiping? How earnestly do we want to please Him? Does our soul thirst for Him and our heart long for Him? If so, we can say with David, "My soul follows close behind You" (v.8). --HVL

Longing to know Jesus better,
Trying to show Him our love;
This is the way to get ready
For our great meeting above. --Hess

Now is the time to invest in eternity.

Today, i braved up my courage, and went to see the partner for the performance appraisal..has been avoiding it for weeks..thot i could juz skip this chat session since im not the only one being called for..but still..with the encouragement fr my senior..and some prayin b4 i step into the partner's rm.. i got the peace from above..and decided tat mayb this partner will be able to enlighten me on some of the issues of deciding on my career..

Well, somehow..i guess i reali looked too sian..esp its a monday..he could sense my dullness and lack of zest at this pt in time..so thruout the 1 hr chat..we were talkin abt life..abt family..abt ambitions..abt edn system..abt how he didnt know wat he wanted to be last time..he could sense tat i hav no interest in audit even b4 me telling him..and his advice for me..is tat if i know wat i wan, dan i shld pack up n go..if i don..i hav to hang on in audit since it's gg to be a gd foundation if i gonna stay in the corporate world..haiz..tats the prob la..i don even know wat i wan..but shall take his advice to:
hang on
be independent in my work
be confident in approaching clients, even upper mgmt
be willing to learn
take the best out of everybody and learn, ditch the bad pts..
hold onto my moral values..don go the bad senior(s)' ways

Haiz..but at the end of the day..saying is easier dan doin it..i know i shldnt think so much..i shld juz work hard..i shld always keep this advices in my head..and wake up everyday with the motivation n drive to work..but...... i cant help pondering..what on earth does he wan me to do with my life??when will i ever get an ans from Him? or has i already gotten it?arghhhhhhhh....

Matthew 6:25-34 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

Do Not Worry 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Oh, i like another of my partner's advice..tat is..to find a $rich$ man..n get married..dan i don hav to think much..don hav to work..haha

19.6.05

Public Apology to Serene, James and David

As stated above, this post is dedicated to the above three persons who are currently enjoyin the sun, sand and sea at Sentosa right now. Nice great weather today and i'm sure you guys can enjoy yourselves even more without me..Today really no mood to get into the sun la..i guess was after yesterday's checkup tat made me so afraid of gettin into the sun's glare again..The eyedrop for dilating my pupils was so powerful..and so scary..but still..less scary dan injections..thank God..it was only an eye checkup requiring no needles..

Aniwae, this boring saturday afternoon with no babies to bother me, practically no souls at home..makes me feel a tiny weenie bit of loneliness..but its ok, i chose my day to be like tat..spent at home..coz im broke too..paid for taiwan's trip yesterday, but i wont regret, coz it's gona be a fun trip with LL. Third time to go on tour with her, first to BKK, 2nd to HK, and now is taiwan!! with no one else to bother us..yeah..

Was reading my previous blog posts from last june/july..it's been a year from then. I realised i had better english then, and i am better able to express myself last time. I wonder wat happened to me, i guess..it must be the lack of attending sermons, the dullness of audit life, blah blah blah..somehow..i guessed i was more alive then, spiritually, emotionally and physically..
Remembered the first ever BBQ i organised back then, the tiredness bt yet..support i got from my frens n family..the time i finally passed my driving, how im touched to tears..the days after grad n b4 working, how i reali enjoyed everyday at home with the (less naughty, back then) kids, how i feared for the start of the workin life..the hk trip, bkk training, gettin my first pay..everything seems to excite me back then..

Now? 'Haiz ' became my kou tou chan, i heave a sigh unknowingly everyday, i drag myself ( i wish someone else could) out of bed every morning..i pulled my long face on the way and during work, i take mcs like there's no 2mr, i drink more and i spent more dan last time.. becoz i think i deserved it after workin hard..hard as in the long hrs..i know i can nver become a workaholic..but audit reali requires u to be one, u cant help it, its a commitment which i cant totally commit in..wat drives me is only the money..not now..bt after promotion..wat a pathetic thing to admit..how could i be living for money??but i feel so...helpless...this is the reality of life..pessimistic i know..bt realistic.

Did this all start from a wrong step? back in JC, if i had stayed in bio-chem, will i be diff? or, even though i changed to commerce but had i not chose accountancy in uni, where will i be? Even if God allows me to choose my life all over again, i wont know how..i can oni accept where im now..n decide where i shld be after this..please pray for me..as i walk thru this dark path to unravel wateva's ahead of me..

Sometimes, i know i think too much.. i wished life's simpler, i wish my brain can think in a less complex way..tat will make me happier..

16.6.05

What woman wants..

(adapted from James a.k.a Bahbuseng 's bloggie..hehe)

TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY..

A MAN needs to be a friend, a companion, a lover, achef, an electrician, a carpenter, a plumber, a mechanic, a decorator, a phychologist, a pest exterminator, a psychiatrist, a healer, a good listener, an organiser,a good father, very clean, sympathetic, athletic, warm,attentive, gallant, intelligent, funny, creative, tender,strong, understanding, tolerant, prudent, ambitious, capable,courageous, dependable and passionate.

Not only that, he also has to give her compliments regularly, love shopping, be honest, be very rich and not look at other girls.

Of course, he is expected to give her lots of attention, but expect little himself, give her lots of time, especially time for herself and give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes.

It is very important that men should never forget birthdays, anniversaries and arrangements she makes.

TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY...Leave him in peace...

What i think: Basically, a man has to multi-task, have an eye for details. Take notice and give compliments truthfully for her new accessories, new haircut, new eyebrow trimming, even moods n emotions, her smiles..But mind u, an overdosage will result in an adverse effect or called a honey-talker (too sweet-mouthed). So, strike a Balance!

Its ok to look at girls, but oni pretty girls (mind ur taste, pls..)..but not forgetting to add another line saying "though she's very pretty, but u r the preeetiest in my eyes!!" wahah..i'm sure it'll have a magical effect on some girls =) but not all though. =p

Be good with dates..not oni birthdays or anniversaries..but little things like first kiss/hug, the date of her ms (not so much for ovulation, but for concern and handling mood swings together), or any little 'firsts' that the both of u shared..

Appreciates the tiniest efforts she made, be it a phone call, an sms/mms, a pat of the back, small gifts, or juz wiping off some stains of ur mouth during a meal...Always say Thank You with ur heart..give a smile..basically, handling her emotions well...tough job huh..

Also, be ambitious, be rich, even if not rich, willing to spend on ur girl (yea juz like rw and james, hehe), be sweet, little things like a new candy, choco bar or handmade cards for no special occasions ..hmm.. or juz a surprise kiss or hug from behind..how sweet ya..

but..in reality, how many guys will/can do all of the above?.. Males are still the more insensitive beings..n tat's precisely the reason why lesbians emerge..haha..

8.6.05

7th June..is my leave gonna be approved?

Wow..this coming sat's my ex-mgr's baby 1 mth bday!! so fast huh..like it was oni last week when she was juz born..time reali fly past me..am i dead or wat..

well well, went to sentosa last weekend..great time spent under the sunny bright orange..wif my two guy buds n 2 gals buds..one of which's a mother hen..brought us there sacrificially and stayed under the umbrella thruout, yet got more tanned dan me heheheh..though did nothing much bt was a relaxing one..since the last one last dec... =)

Week by week, day by day... im looking forward only to bonus (when when when) and pay rise...dan zhou ren liao...hai~~ wat's the point man...get more oni spend more..i wan true happiness...oh God...where should i be..what do i wan to accomplish in life?can i fast forward my life?? >>>

This weeks lonely lonely..not much ppl to lunch with..haiz..guess the whole of last wk was lunch n dinner with him for almost everyday..so this week feeling's bit...wierd...emotional dependence huh...not good...

Oh ya, serene, Ric ask if u free on 2nd July for an evangelical event at his church?James oso...mayb if cant confirm yet nvm, juz try to keep that day free ba..hehe

17.5.05

A new life is born...13th May..God shall bless this baby!!

Juz came back from ex-mgr's house.. me n my old team went to see her and her newborn baby girl..she's oni 2+ kg when born..looks so tiny with her super small-sized feet and hands..ahh so cute n adorable..wanted to carry it so much but was afraid ..coz its somebody else's baby..so muz be triple careful...ahh so better not..wonderful wonderful life being born.. =)

My ex-mgr looks quite ok.. think she's reali a strong woman..wow..pei fu.. and as usual..i shivered at the thot of the pain n everything abt the entire process they were toking abt.. ah...God has made women to be strong enough to go thru all these..someday I will understd and go thru it myself.. but now shall start to brace myself up for this.. canot wait until then..of coz..seeing the product (cute baby), u know all's the effort and pain's worth it..for sure..

Suddenli feeling a tinge of sadness in me.. sad mayb becoz i wasnt informed of this visiting..oni happen to hear fr fellow ex-a2 during lunch..and i said i wanna go.. and oso overheard them saying abt organising a team outing overseas in july..of coz i wasnt part of the plan..haiz..i juz don belong to aniwhere..not new team..not old team animore.. why issit that everywhere i go..i find no belonging??haiz

Also..envious of my ex-mgr's happily married life.. well i guessed i've oreadi made it known that i actuali yearn for this kind of life..though not the baby part yet...but to be able to live with ur loved one..juz enjoy the presence of each other all day long (except work).. how nice... well am i ready to leave my family yet? i think not too.. i will miss staying wif mom..with the kids... haiz..im in such dilemma...why cant i juz enjoy life the way it is now..i think its the work that's making me feel like this...

help..........

13.5.05

On MC..AGAIN?!?!? hehe

An interesting scenario at the clinic today..

Doc: Hi, wat's ur problem?
Me: Oh i've got menstrual cramps...
(dan i try to describe my worst experience to him..about how i can break into cold sweat, turn pale, canot focus on my work..and definitely need painkiller plus nap to recover)
..Conversation goes on abt how frequent is the pain..whether it became worst over the years...followed by physical examination of my tummy..explanation of a possible 'fibriod' or watsoever in the womb..blah blah...
Doc: how old r u?
Me:23
Doc:have u done a pap smear b4?
Me:no..
Doc:do u hav any sexual relations?coz if u hav, must start doin a pap smear..
(even if he can finish that sentence, i firmly replied him..looking straight his eyes to give him a firm look)
Doc:(still not convinced) do u have sexual intercourse?
Me:NO.......(*thinking: huh..why r u doubting me....wanted to tell him i've no bf!!and im a christian..most imptly, i've my values!!)
Doc:do u intend to do a pap smear?
Me: no no ... dont think its time yet.. (feeling disgusted at the thot of that..heart shivers..)
Doc: ok...take care..avoid pineapples n cold drinks if u can
Me: ok..i don eat pineapples one.. (opens door n leave)

18.4.05

Feeling odd..sad, maybe?i'm so confused..so lost..

hmm...been workin for almost the entire day ..pathetic man..i hate to use my sunday like this..but guess..this is juz another commitment that He wans me to put in..so..ok..

Last nite's 'surprise' really caught my soul..my whole mind's been thinking abt it..ahh..its so confusing..i know it will happen some day..but i didnt know it will be so soon..i am happy for him..for i know..that gal is gonna be lucky and blessed..he's reali one good man, like wat everybody says he is a 'hao hao xian shen'.. i don regret or anitin coz i made my choice last time..i wont say its a wrong choice..coz the alternative gave me a gd 1 yr's experience as well..and furthermore..he didnt reali 'woo' me too..guessed we juz were too similar..or mayb not meant for each other ba..still, i'll pray for him..for his relationship..oh Lord, help me get over that image please...it keeps bothering me...argh

No, liling, its not like wat u said..I guess its juz natural for us (humans, or mayb oni gals) to feel a little wierd when we see the guy holding someone else's hands..even though u didnt like him..for others, mayb u rejected him..but when u see him getting on with his life wif another gal...u juz feel the tinge of sadness?or mayb jealously? how do i describe this kind of feeling?im sure everybody experiences this..come on..let's admit it..but of coz, time heals..he's not the first one giving me this kind of feeling..hehe..rw's the first...n the young n innocent me actuali did sometin wrong becoz of that feeling..guilty neh..hehe

1.4.05

Time flies...there goes the much anticipated trip... there goes another yucky week at lavender..time realli flies..there comes another earth-shattering quake..cant believe that it's oreadi 3 mths since the tsunami..seems like everything juz happened not long ago...

Why do i have this feeling that im staying put while the whole earth's revolving..

What happened to me??

Did i put a pause to my life right now at this moment...sub-consciously...?

i guess its juz becoz im trying to avoid living thru this moment..hate to feel, coz i know it's not a great feeling..the feeling of tiredness of work, of 'suffering' at work, of the tons of pressure at work..argh...Can i fast forward my life? if so, i wan to c myself either married with a family...or pregnant with a baby n cared by a loving husband..with car...house...time...money...love.... =) ok, to be realistic, car house n money not that impt...love is the greatest! Give me back my confidence in u!!

Yawnzz...wat a great thursday nite..though my job's not closed yet (nx wk gg back lavender )..but most of the sections r almost done oreadi..feeling bit more relaxed..postponing my worries to nx wk dan..the clearing of review pts plus my P&L..argh..may my 2 stocktakes this wkend not be too tiring eh..gbm

Happy april fool's to all...Laugh as much as u can..laughing heals the soul~

27.3.05

15.3.05

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way.
By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today.

25.2.05

God, i miss you

You've heard the news—there's no escape—
The Lord is coming to make right
The wrongs in this dark world of hate;
So make your choice—come to the Light. —Hess

Live today as if you will stand before God tomorrow.




All your anxiety, all your care
Bring to the mercy seat, leave it there;
Never a burden He cannot bear,
Never a friend like Jesus. —Joy

No matter what happens, you can find joy in the Lord.


7.2.05

my new year resolution..once again

THREE COMMITMENTS

There are three great commitments that every person has to make eventually.

1. who or what will control my life? As Christians, we are taught in Scripture that Jesus Christ wants to control our lives. Will Christ, or self, or circumstances, or an outside party control our lives?

2. what will be my purpose or direction in life? Exactly where am I going in my job, my lifestyle, and my surroundings? For the Christian, the question is, “what will God have me do?”

3. shall I marry, and if so, with whom should I spend the rest of my life?

Settle on the first two before you seek to answer the third. Too many people head into number three with no preparation whatsoever. To find God’s perfect choice, you need to have made the decision that Christ will control your life and that you will head in the direction He leads. Then, when you look for number three, your potential mate must have the same Master and the same mission.

Now, how to find that person god has for you. “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord; and He delights in his ways” (Psalm 37:23). Commit your life as He wants to. There may even be some disappointments and bitter failures, all in the plan of God for you. The perfect choice of a life’s mate is worth the wait.

The way to be sure of God’s plan for you is through His Word, “Direct my footsteps according to Your rule over me” (Psalm 119:133, NIV). Consistent study of the Bible is the way to find out what God wants to tell you.

17.1.05

Some new pix uploaded..may take alot of time to load..view at ur own risk! =p

http://community.webshots.com/album/252145245DUvSdK

Tip : Choose to view in slideshow at 2sec interval..faster loading..at least my com can do it.

Ah..and the peak begins..how will life be this wk??

According to Alfie, we must all have a piece of mind...no..i mean ..peace of mind.. so that we can enjoy whatever we are doing.

And the moral of the movie is....

Treasure your gal!!

12.1.05

11 Jan

Peak's here..luckily this job got quite a number of ppl together..so nt working late yet..yes i mean Yet..who knows hw the rest of the wk and next wk will turn out to be..praying hard. keeping fingers crossed.

Its the time of the year again..hw time flies!! Chinese new year..a time of the year which i hate n love..love it coz can rest..eat bak kwa..get angbaos (though not a lot, so invite me to ur hse!! =p) ..hate it coz its boring..sitting at grandma hse thruout..little communication wif my cousins..haiz..hate it too coz oni 2 days!! got to go back work on the 3rd day probably..hai..

Been wearing skirts for the past two years oreadi..yes i did!! so don keep telling me to wear them coz u all nver get to c them oni..nt i didnt wear hor.. i wanna wear back my jeans n tee for new year!! who say new year must wear nice skirt?!!? hmmp!!


2.1.05

Welcome 2005..

Is 2005 going to be a better year for all?

2004 has ended sadly.. no countdown for me..no fireworks for the events..its good also to end the year with prayers for 2005..for world peace..and i reali mean PEACE.. (not peach, ting!) Peace for no terrorism..no more earthquakes..no more tsunamis...no more disastrous acts of God..

Please pray for all the victims and families of victims in the tsunami incident..Pray that they get deliverance..that they be forgiven and received in Heaven..especially the young who were nt yet given a chance to know Him. And for those whose bodies are not found yet..drifting into the huge oceans...May their souls find peace.

I cry everytime i read news on this. Thoughts came flooding into my mind as i watched those videos..there's the penang lady ignorant and laughing away when she saw the waves coming below her..washing away the people on the shore..the waves resembles the Lord's coming..with a huge and mighty presence as it gets nearer..though from afar we cant see clearly..but for those who believe, they know..the lady is the ignorant one..refusing to believe the destructiveness of the wave..refusing to believe God? Somehow the picture is being interpreted this way in my mind...How pathetic!! Why do we always need sometin bad to happen b4 we will ever realise the truth?the sad and terrible truth..that He only saves those who first believed in Him.

ok..enuff of the sad stuff..my weekend is not reali like a weekend afterall..same as for my New Year which isnt much like a brand new year for me.. Stocktake on the first day of the Year somehow is a sign of a busy and real busy year ahead..im not whining abt it..im learning to adjust myself..don think too much abt it..its juz work..Thank God i've pulled thru it despite the super suffocating warehouses..climbing up and down ladders..despite the lack of sleep..despite the cramps...Thank God for everything. May You continue to bless me for the many days ahead..

New year resolutions...hmm..think this article which xjun sent me is very much suitable for me now..extracted parts of it ..

SPECIAL PERSON-- Sammy Tippit as told to Jerry Jenkins

Some people think it’s stupid to believe that God has a special person picked out for each of us to marry. I disagree. I believe God has a specific plan and purpose for every individual, including if and who he or she will marry.

Believing God picks our mates may appear stupid to some people. If I happen to marry the wrong person, I’m out of God’s will and have ruined my life, they think. But that’s not true. The Bible gives examples where men or women have missed God’s perfect will but have been happy and prosperous in their marriages. The difference is in being as happy as you can be, compared with how happy you could have been.

When a man and a woman say “I do” and commit their lives to each other, God makes a commitment to that relationship too. There is a tremendous depth of meaning behind commitments we make in the sight of God.

THREE COMMITMENTS
there are three great commitments that every person has to make eventually.

1. who or what will control my life? As Christians, we are taught in Scripture that Jesus Christ wants to control our lives. Will Christ, or self, or circumstances, or an outside party control our lives?

2. what will be my purpose or direction in life? Exactly where am I going in my job, my lifestyle, and my surroundings? For the Christian, the question is, “what will God have me do?”

3. shall I marry, and if so, with whom should I spend the rest of my life?

Settle on the first two before you seek to answer the third. Too many people head into number three with no preparation whatsoever. To find God’s perfect choice, you need to have made the decision that Christ will control your life and that you will head in the direction He leads. Then, when you look for number three, your potential mate must have the same Master and the same mission.

Now, how to find that person god has for you. “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord; and He delights in his ways” (Psalm 37:23). Commit your life as He wants to. There may even be some disappointments and bitter failures, all in the plan of God for you. The perfect choice of a life’s mate is worth the wait.

The way to be sure of God’s plan for you is through His Word, “Direct my footsteps according to Your rule over me” (Psalm 119:133, NIV). Consistent study of the Bible is the way to find out what God wants to tell you.

I’m not talking about the Bible as some spiritual Ouija board. You don’t just open your Bible and let your eyes fall on a super verse that will speak to your heart and you’ll know the will of god. God asks you to search the Scriptures daily, not to go picking random verses from your Bible and hoping for the best.

He speaks to you as you have a regular, systematic Bible study, as you meditate on His Word. Study to communicate with God and your revelations from Him will not be gigantic extravaganzas every six months, but simple day-today communication. What a wonderful way to live!