things i ate this weekend:
sat-
3-in-1 coffee
two tau-sar piah
3 pcs of sau tau piah
3 sticks of hazelnut-flavoured pocky
3 pcs of oreo
two bottles of yebisu
3 slices of thin-crust pizza
half a pack of chips
a glass of ice honey water
2 slices of mango (yum~)
sun-
3-in-1 coffee
Mr bean soyamilk
Mr bean cheese pancake
6-pc Mcnuggets
a glass of milk
amos cookies
no solid food. coupled with more dan 12 hrs of sleep per day.
u know me so well. tat i will skip my dinner. esp when i don feel particularly great.
sleep is all i need. forgets all pain.
19.12.08
a tired soul
they say giving is better than receiving. what do u tink?
i think it is esp true when you're giving to ppl u love.
so much joy when its fr the heart.
----
it's fri. n yet there's so much work to do.
ppl are gg for holidays. shpping, skiing and whatnot.
wat about me? work, work, and just work. n on all the eves. fuck that. argh!
----
end of christmas/year-end mood. i can oni foresee the pile of workload falling on my shoulders in the next few weeks to come. Great start to 2009!
i think it is esp true when you're giving to ppl u love.
so much joy when its fr the heart.
----
it's fri. n yet there's so much work to do.
ppl are gg for holidays. shpping, skiing and whatnot.
wat about me? work, work, and just work. n on all the eves. fuck that. argh!
----
end of christmas/year-end mood. i can oni foresee the pile of workload falling on my shoulders in the next few weeks to come. Great start to 2009!
15.12.08
it's a known fact that people change.
i've noticed myself changing these years as well.
good, and bad changes.
i think i've a bigger sense of responsibility in work now since the first job.
though i still can't help complain and whine at certain things. but who doesn't?
as a result, i tend to induce more stress on myself too. which can be good and bad.
sometimes i tend to perform better with stress, somethings i fail very badly.
which resulted in emotions taking over the better of me.
in other areas of life, i tend to expect perfection. or if not, i just want to get by it. barely.
which is not so good as well. coz i tend to give up earlier then i shld, and not giving myself enuff time to prove myself. just because i lack the patience for myself. n am afraid of external influences and comments. which only make me doubt myself further. n ultimately making me give up on myself!
sometin that still hasnt change in me, is the emotional turbulences within. felt way too frequently. sometin i still couldnt get rid of. they made me wan to give up on everytin. period.
i've noticed myself changing these years as well.
good, and bad changes.
i think i've a bigger sense of responsibility in work now since the first job.
though i still can't help complain and whine at certain things. but who doesn't?
as a result, i tend to induce more stress on myself too. which can be good and bad.
sometimes i tend to perform better with stress, somethings i fail very badly.
which resulted in emotions taking over the better of me.
in other areas of life, i tend to expect perfection. or if not, i just want to get by it. barely.
which is not so good as well. coz i tend to give up earlier then i shld, and not giving myself enuff time to prove myself. just because i lack the patience for myself. n am afraid of external influences and comments. which only make me doubt myself further. n ultimately making me give up on myself!
sometin that still hasnt change in me, is the emotional turbulences within. felt way too frequently. sometin i still couldnt get rid of. they made me wan to give up on everytin. period.
12.12.08
What love is.
Being/to take(n) care of, and
depend on (each other)
giving happiness, and(to) be happy
being faithful!
patience
making things work (for each other)
share feelings...verbal or through observation if person is not so generous with expressive words =p
sharing yr life (for a lifetime, through thick and thin)
open to discussion...on life’s issues (listening, solving, or just being there)
natural. From the heart.
Feelings are natural. U cant stop them, cant increase or decrease them as u wish.
You got to live with them.
depend on (each other)
giving happiness, and(to) be happy
being faithful!
patience
making things work (for each other)
share feelings...verbal or through observation if person is not so generous with expressive words =p
sharing yr life (for a lifetime, through thick and thin)
open to discussion...on life’s issues (listening, solving, or just being there)
natural. From the heart.
Feelings are natural. U cant stop them, cant increase or decrease them as u wish.
You got to live with them.
9.12.08
the L word. viewer's discretion advised.
(8) says:hmm .
(8) says:but i seen boy-ish one who are fat and short too leh.
...*drowns* says:eeee turn off
...*drowns* says:those i wont even look
(8) says: u mean u r really considering?
(8) says:actually.. u know what. i didnt say it that day.
(8) says:i will prefer * to #..
(8)says:hhaa. shshshs
...*drowns* says:pls leh tat wld be the obvious ok!
(8)says:no mah.. i said i prefer # that day
....*drowns* says:well we didnt put a comparison
(8)says:i didnt dare to say *.. i believed she will REALLY REALLY FREAK OUT
(8)says:no kidding...*drowns* says:reali meh
...*drowns* says:u knw wat
...*drowns* says:in the cab
...*drowns* says:she said sometin strange
...*drowns* says:i ask her why so long no bf, no suitors
...*drowns* says:dan she said, ' mayb u don know oni, mayb i oreadi hav a 5 yrs gf nver tell u leh'(8)says:cant be
...*drowns* says:ya dan i was suddenli awaken by the idea
...*drowns* says:mayb she kena infected by us
...*drowns* says:our topic
(8)says:i think she jus didnt know how to ans why no suitors....so she joke.
...*drowns* says:haha bt her joke reali, strange to come out fr her ma
(8)says:yes, i can tell she is infected
...*drowns* says:hahaha
...*drowns* says:so i wonder if she will choose me or u
(8)says:nice job on both of us.
(8)says:u and me..
(8)says:hmmm.. i think she will like me more.. coz i more decisive.
(8)says:look like someone who she can depend on..
(8)says:i think she is not the gal-superpower house kind.. so she will want someone who she can depend on..
...*drowns* says:haha issit.. bt sometimes she can be strong headed as u too
...*drowns* says:dan will quarrel easily
(8)says:but if i am wrong.. if she wants someone that she can shower , with her love.. she will like u
(8)says:O IZZT!@!!!! u think she is strong headed???? COZ I THINK SHE IS TOO!!!!!
...*drowns* says:wat.. me wanna be the one showering ppl, not the recipient
(8)says:and i thot she is not obvious strong headed.
(8)says:but i can sense she is.
...*drowns* says:she is abit like ^..sometimes muz give in to them de.
(8)says:i am like ^ too.
(8)says:i wan someone to give in to me.
...*drowns* says:no .. not juz tat... to bear with ^, one needs a huge amt of patience
...*drowns* says:even i sometimes get impatient with her
...*drowns* says:haha
...*drowns* says:dan sometimes v stubborn
(8)says:wow like me
(8)says:or should i say.. all gals are like that, some days.
(8)says:some times.
(8)says:but ^ doesnt hv a bad temper right?
(8)says:coz i do..
(8)says:and i think * does too!
(8)says:^ looks mild. ...*drowns* says:no la she dont....*drowns* says:nice tempered like me
(8)says:ok so not a match
(8)says:u go with me. she go with *.
(8)says:dont waste 2 mild temper creatures
(8)says:will u like * more or ^?
(8)says:^ right? ...*drowns* says:nah
(8)says:u like * more?
(8)says:reallly???
...*drowns* says:nah
(8)says:? ...*drowns* says:i wont choose btw the two
(8)says:ah.. assuming die die got to choose.
(8)says:^ right?
(8)says:i think * can be quite fierce.
...*drowns* says:* is cuter
...*drowns* says:^ .. as i said, needs alot of patience
...*drowns* says:which im runnin out
...*drowns* says:as i grow older
(8)says:ok so i take its *.
(8)says:hmm .
(8)says:i will choose * to ^ too.
(8)says:i think for this kind of relationship to ... u need determination
(8)says:and firm.
(8)says:* look determinded and firm
(8)says:so u knew i was lying when i said #? ...*drowns* says:I WAS TOO SHOCKED TO FEEL ANITIN
(8)says:shocked?
(8)says:is # that bad?
(8)says:cant be right..
(8)says:i said her because i feel she can be les..
...*drowns* says:no i juz felt wierd tat she's ur type
(8)says:i cant say * mah. she will freak out.. like @.
...*drowns* says:remember u two cannt reali get along well last time wat
(8)says:ah.
(8)says:i love * la
(8)says:.. we so going to fight it out
(8)says:so me and *.. who do u prefer?
...*drowns* says:wa piang declaring ur love for her !
(8)says:u know i am kidding one right. so far, i still like (insert 5-letter indecent word here).
...*drowns* says:wei
...*drowns* says:my history is captured ok
...*drowns* says:no vulgar
(8)says:ok yes madam
(8)says:so who will u choose.
(8)says:cmon, i am curious.
...*drowns* says:nah
(8)says: shit u.
(8)says:i will tell u who i prefer bet u and *.
(8)says:and why.
(8)says:nice exchange
(8)says:o the cat sitting is so cute
(8)says:@ is going to look like that on sat.
...*drowns* says:seriously
...*drowns* says:if i wanna be the girl, i'll choose u. if i wanna be the guy, i'll choose *
....*drowns* says:hahahaha
(8)says:so have u made up ur mind.. u wanna be a gal or guy?
(8)says:i will choose u..
(8)says:i dont think * is good in ***(indecent word again!)
...*drowns* says:EFF! don make me laugh in office!
(8)says:cmon.
(8)says:this is an important aspect
(8)says:she cant bend
...*drowns* says:u forgot i got a stiff back as well?
(8)says:she look abit blockhead
(8)says:and not sexy
...*drowns* says:u mean i am SEXY?!!?
(8)says:sexy.
...*drowns* says:tat shld be the last word to be used on me
...*drowns* says:this conver is so funny i got an urge to post on my blog
(8)says:NO!
(8)says:* will freak out
...*drowns* says:hahahahah
...*drowns* says:she don read
(8)says:and alot of pple will
(8)says:if u blank co my name.
(8)says:and blank co #..
(8)says:and *..
(8)says:u can leave ^ and ur name.
...*drowns* says:haha forget it so troublesome
(8)says:u mean u wanna copy paste with (8)
(8) says:ahbish******
...*drowns* says:n En *drowns*
(8) says:good try
7.12.08
べんきょうをします
sidenote: my installment isn't yet paid off fully. and this lappie has failed me not just once, but twice! no longer harddisk problem, now it's the wireless! totally gone! have to use bro's usb modem and i wonder how long i can borrow this.
does that mean i have to postpone getting a new hp and get a laptop instead?! blah!
5.12.08
December.. the month of/for love.
At least that’s how I feel. Some may like it because it’s for year end holidays to ur fav locations with frens or ur other half. Because it’s Christmas, meaning there’ll be a short break from work. Because the streets are lighted up so that we can soak in the Christmas-like feel when strolling hand in hand.
No matter how simple the night of the eve of Christmas will be, spending it alone relaxing to some music.. or out partying n drinking my life away (which isn’t gg to happen), or surrounding myself with fellow Christians in another setting(doubt so too).. I still prefer the first option. Esp after a (wednes)day at work. I love the peace on a Ping An Ye.
My last Christmas was a cold cold one. Also a simple night strolling the streets of Ldn in the day, and passing the stroke of midnight at home, with a little surprise. I appreciated all of that then.
I was chatting with my col this morn b4 the boss came in. I still cant get over the fact that I can never truly accept another person into my life totally. I mean, habits and lifestyle. Bad habits especially. And I can never get pass myself and the fact that I tend to expect more dan I shld from the significant other in my life. If I cant convince myself, who can?
So does that mean I am destined for a life alone? Unless I can compromise with men in general, and make do with one so tat I can hav companionship till the last day on earth?
The buds say I juz hav not met the right one.
The col says not to wait for too long to fix my mind coz the years will just go by very fast. (n I might end up an old hag)
n i still cant get acceptance nor accept the fact that the heart is always running in the opposite direction with what the mind is telling it to. N it is obviously not with me since last night.
No matter how simple the night of the eve of Christmas will be, spending it alone relaxing to some music.. or out partying n drinking my life away (which isn’t gg to happen), or surrounding myself with fellow Christians in another setting(doubt so too).. I still prefer the first option. Esp after a (wednes)day at work. I love the peace on a Ping An Ye.
My last Christmas was a cold cold one. Also a simple night strolling the streets of Ldn in the day, and passing the stroke of midnight at home, with a little surprise. I appreciated all of that then.
I was chatting with my col this morn b4 the boss came in. I still cant get over the fact that I can never truly accept another person into my life totally. I mean, habits and lifestyle. Bad habits especially. And I can never get pass myself and the fact that I tend to expect more dan I shld from the significant other in my life. If I cant convince myself, who can?
So does that mean I am destined for a life alone? Unless I can compromise with men in general, and make do with one so tat I can hav companionship till the last day on earth?
The buds say I juz hav not met the right one.
The col says not to wait for too long to fix my mind coz the years will just go by very fast. (n I might end up an old hag)
n i still cant get acceptance nor accept the fact that the heart is always running in the opposite direction with what the mind is telling it to. N it is obviously not with me since last night.
4.12.08
3.12.08
28.11.08
if only bad tins are nightmares, and good tins are not just dreams.
what isit about the dream and nightmare?
i just know that somedays i wake, hoping some things are nightmares when in fact they're real, and wishin some dreams are real when in fact, they'll never ever cross that boundary in dreamland.
life is short, must be happy no matter what, no matter how.
some of us wish we're done and over with life. and then someone out there with great aspirations and a good future must die so suddenly and for nothing. hai...
what is happening to our world.
i just know that somedays i wake, hoping some things are nightmares when in fact they're real, and wishin some dreams are real when in fact, they'll never ever cross that boundary in dreamland.
life is short, must be happy no matter what, no matter how.
some of us wish we're done and over with life. and then someone out there with great aspirations and a good future must die so suddenly and for nothing. hai...
what is happening to our world.
27.11.08
Give Thanks no matter what
Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high
Yes, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!
Happy Thanksgiving Day!
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high
Yes, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!
Happy Thanksgiving Day!
23.11.08
18.11.08
still my very beloved.
i should work hard so that i can visit these places. probably in 2010. wish i can read n understand though..ha
http://cafecalico.com/index0.html
http://www.thisone.co.jp/issue/yanaka01/main.html
http://www.rien222.com/cafe/cafe.html
and oh, tpe has one too. didnt know tat earlier!
http://www.tabitabi-taipei.com/youyou/200508/
http://cafecalico.com/index0.html
http://www.thisone.co.jp/issue/yanaka01/main.html
http://www.rien222.com/cafe/cafe.html
and oh, tpe has one too. didnt know tat earlier!
http://www.tabitabi-taipei.com/youyou/200508/
17.11.08
Don't worry; He'll take very good care of you
Today's Verse: Matthew 6:31-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers-most of which are never even seen-don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met." -MSG[2]
Let God's peace control your stress
Today's Verse: Philippians 4:6-7"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." -MSG[2]
Today's Verse: Matthew 6:31-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers-most of which are never even seen-don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met." -MSG[2]
Let God's peace control your stress
Today's Verse: Philippians 4:6-7"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." -MSG[2]
15.11.08
爱与希望
sometimes you don't need the whole world to understand you and your actions,
but just that one person to concur with you
and that is all that matters
right?
but just that one person to concur with you
and that is all that matters
right?
9.11.08
Nick Vujicic
witnessed him speak in church tdy. very inspiring and teaches us to live simply, happily and not take life for granted. where less is indeed, more.
meaning of life is to find the secret of contentment.
thank God for most of us who are not disabled and have healthy four limbs. we need to build up a heart like his. and an optimistic view twds life.
the tin abt him is not becoz of how he look, but the confidence and strength he portrays. tat's wat makes his preaching extraordinary.
meaning of life is to find the secret of contentment.
thank God for most of us who are not disabled and have healthy four limbs. we need to build up a heart like his. and an optimistic view twds life.
the tin abt him is not becoz of how he look, but the confidence and strength he portrays. tat's wat makes his preaching extraordinary.
6.11.08
Today's Whisper
~Give thanks and avoid unnecessary worries~
Today's Verse: Philippians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -NIV[1]
Today's Message
Worry... How easily it creeps into our lives --especially when the Christmas and end-of-year Holidays are just around the corner. Where will I spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's? What should I wear? What should I buy? How much will I be able to spend? How am I going to pay for this and that? And the longer the list of questions, the more reasons we find to worry...
As I meditated some time ago on my most recent visits to "worryland," I suddenly realized how giving thanks works as an amazing anti-worry dosis of faith. As I started thanking my Heavenly Father for His awesome care for me and my loved ones, as I realized how much He has blessed me to this day, and when I starting praising and acknowledging His presence, worry seemed to dissipate, and my heart felt once again renewed to continue on a bright journey full of love and hope.
Brother and sister, enjoy the rest of this year by not allowing worry and stress to have any control over you! Start giving thanks to God every single morning, and you'll find yourself spreading true and contagious joy, peace and love wherever you go.
Today's Verse: Philippians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -NIV[1]
Today's Message
Worry... How easily it creeps into our lives --especially when the Christmas and end-of-year Holidays are just around the corner. Where will I spend Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's? What should I wear? What should I buy? How much will I be able to spend? How am I going to pay for this and that? And the longer the list of questions, the more reasons we find to worry...
As I meditated some time ago on my most recent visits to "worryland," I suddenly realized how giving thanks works as an amazing anti-worry dosis of faith. As I started thanking my Heavenly Father for His awesome care for me and my loved ones, as I realized how much He has blessed me to this day, and when I starting praising and acknowledging His presence, worry seemed to dissipate, and my heart felt once again renewed to continue on a bright journey full of love and hope.
Brother and sister, enjoy the rest of this year by not allowing worry and stress to have any control over you! Start giving thanks to God every single morning, and you'll find yourself spreading true and contagious joy, peace and love wherever you go.
2.11.08
my life is extremely ordinary. too.
so simple that sometimes i forget what and who i live for. so simple we tend to grumble easily, and take life for granted.
what is missing exactly? men? love? companionship for life? family? car? frenz?
anyway i just hope i don't burn my fri nites anymore coz it's abit depressing seeing sat come n go so fast. but then again, wkends are reali too short to rest properly and yet making sure i don waste them by not doing anitin other dan sleep. so, what and where is the motivation to work, if we're not looking forward to wkends?
maybe the motivation to live and work is simply so that u can lead an ordinary life.
maybe we'll all be better off and happier if we're doing what our passions are, living them out every single day. if only everytin is so in place in this world. where everyone is at the right place, and with the right one. and im not making sense here anymore.
if only i dare, to live out the dark side in me.
so simple that sometimes i forget what and who i live for. so simple we tend to grumble easily, and take life for granted.
what is missing exactly? men? love? companionship for life? family? car? frenz?
anyway i just hope i don't burn my fri nites anymore coz it's abit depressing seeing sat come n go so fast. but then again, wkends are reali too short to rest properly and yet making sure i don waste them by not doing anitin other dan sleep. so, what and where is the motivation to work, if we're not looking forward to wkends?
maybe the motivation to live and work is simply so that u can lead an ordinary life.
maybe we'll all be better off and happier if we're doing what our passions are, living them out every single day. if only everytin is so in place in this world. where everyone is at the right place, and with the right one. and im not making sense here anymore.
if only i dare, to live out the dark side in me.
28.10.08
work makes me v tired. long wkend makes it worst. coz work piles up b4 and after.
what pulled me through the day is, looking forward to coming home.. bed tv dinner and ice cream.
B&J's strawberry cheesecake is v nice esp with the graham biscuits inside =)
i can oni stop after finishing 1/3 of a tub every nite =p
oh, and ubin left a big blister on the bottom of my smallest toe. oouuch! good reason to get a bigger pair of track shoes
but i so don't wanna spend my hard-earned money.. hard-earned.. yes.. yawnz...
what pulled me through the day is, looking forward to coming home.. bed tv dinner and ice cream.
B&J's strawberry cheesecake is v nice esp with the graham biscuits inside =)
i can oni stop after finishing 1/3 of a tub every nite =p
oh, and ubin left a big blister on the bottom of my smallest toe. oouuch! good reason to get a bigger pair of track shoes
but i so don't wanna spend my hard-earned money.. hard-earned.. yes.. yawnz...
26.10.08
this wkend feels particularly lethargic. work is tiring no longer becoz of the waking up early and struggling to stay awake after lunch.. but becoz the workload is more or less abt 80% handed over to me now.. i will only get more stressed up come nx wk, and the month of nov onwards will be lagi worse. =p but dan again, no complains. yet.
n becoz of PH tmr, my fri was a bit rushed. lasted till abt 9pm. i foresee more of these to come.
finali we're checking out ubin tmr. i dont care who's coming. i just hope rain and cramps won't.
n actuali i wouldn't mind if it's a stay home day either.. i can never get enuff of sleep. Yawnz..
n becoz of PH tmr, my fri was a bit rushed. lasted till abt 9pm. i foresee more of these to come.
finali we're checking out ubin tmr. i dont care who's coming. i just hope rain and cramps won't.
n actuali i wouldn't mind if it's a stay home day either.. i can never get enuff of sleep. Yawnz..
Zzz
happily ever after
and happily throughout
are simply impossible.
why fall in love if you can't totally depend on one another?
i just don't understand.
maybe that's why it's so difficult for me to do so.
and happily throughout
are simply impossible.
why fall in love if you can't totally depend on one another?
i just don't understand.
maybe that's why it's so difficult for me to do so.
23.10.08
if u believe like i do
Today's Whisper
God sees far beyond what we see
Today's Verse: 1 Samuel 16:7b
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." -NIV[1]
Today's Message
Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel, "How could you let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him," she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die."
"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it." "Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."
As both this anonymous story and Today's Scripture clearly show, what appears before our eyes in the natural does not always agree with the spiritual side of things. That's why we need to rely on God's faithfulness and wisdom. For only He discerns the heart of every issue on earth, and will provide answers according to His perfect and sovereign will.
Let us not be conformed to outward appearances or present circumstances. For they in no way tell the whole truth about us or our destiny. Only God knows, and His everlasting faithfulness will carry us through to victory.
God sees far beyond what we see
Today's Verse: 1 Samuel 16:7b
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." -NIV[1]
Today's Message
Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel, "How could you let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him," she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die."
"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it." "Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."
As both this anonymous story and Today's Scripture clearly show, what appears before our eyes in the natural does not always agree with the spiritual side of things. That's why we need to rely on God's faithfulness and wisdom. For only He discerns the heart of every issue on earth, and will provide answers according to His perfect and sovereign will.
Let us not be conformed to outward appearances or present circumstances. For they in no way tell the whole truth about us or our destiny. Only God knows, and His everlasting faithfulness will carry us through to victory.
21.10.08
18.10.08
dun reali knw wat this is about..
it seems like humans are never really content in life. no matter how much we read about positive quotes and inspiring words, we always find it hard to keep them in mind. or maybe we could easily utter a word or two to someone in need, while forgetting about our own troubles at the moment, but we just keep failing at maintaining the positive outlook in life. more so when we're tired fr work, fr strained relations, fr lack of care/concern, fr the very moment when ur hp alarm goes ringing and it's time to get up to face the music (of coz after snoozing for a few 5 mins or so)
and i am just one of the many humans facing this.
when i don hav a job, i worry abt it. abt not having a secure income n thus, not able to really enjoy life (read: go out, eat, shop, drink = have life) now that i've been blessed with a job after much perseverence, i started to fill my mind with needless thots again. not so much abt the job itself, bt w the other miscellaneous aspects of life. mayb it's juz 'me' to be consistently filled with emotional thots, or mayb it's a mandatory anchor of my humanity. to knw that i am alive. n being alive surely brings abt its own problems. it's ironic becoz i wan to live a carefree life without problems, but yet i cant feel alive if i really live one without having anytin to worry/tink abt.
this is one big bad point abt myself tat i wld like to change. if i can tink happily all the time, it wld b less depressing for my soul everyday. i wldn't be so quiet a person. so passive. so lack of confidence in myself. in men. in love. in everytin in life. i still have not become the person whom i wish to be. mayb i will never be able to do that until some miracle or some disaster strike. choy.
and i am just one of the many humans facing this.
when i don hav a job, i worry abt it. abt not having a secure income n thus, not able to really enjoy life (read: go out, eat, shop, drink = have life) now that i've been blessed with a job after much perseverence, i started to fill my mind with needless thots again. not so much abt the job itself, bt w the other miscellaneous aspects of life. mayb it's juz 'me' to be consistently filled with emotional thots, or mayb it's a mandatory anchor of my humanity. to knw that i am alive. n being alive surely brings abt its own problems. it's ironic becoz i wan to live a carefree life without problems, but yet i cant feel alive if i really live one without having anytin to worry/tink abt.
this is one big bad point abt myself tat i wld like to change. if i can tink happily all the time, it wld b less depressing for my soul everyday. i wldn't be so quiet a person. so passive. so lack of confidence in myself. in men. in love. in everytin in life. i still have not become the person whom i wish to be. mayb i will never be able to do that until some miracle or some disaster strike. choy.
14.10.08
life and love should really be simple.
i m trying to stay positive becoz i knw i hav to. especially coz ytd's monday blues were extremely bad. n it is oni the 2nd wk at work. *slaps*
this week is slow coz boss is not ard. i even managed to slip off 20 mins earlier today to catch dad's ride back home. it made a whole big world of difference in the journey time. sweet!
took the two kiddos for a jog in the cool evening.. after dinner i went for a stroll with dad n mom to ntuc. totally cool n enjoyable. such is the pleasure in life.
and dan mom told me abt my aunt's story. the husband has an affair (wat's new?). he even asked to bring tat woman home to live tog with the family, if my aunt doesnt wan to divorce him. i guess i couldnt blame my cousin (oldest of their 3 kids) for 'turning rebellious' since young coz the foundation of love in this family might oreadi be unstable fr the start. i remembered when i was still in pri sch, there was a nite my mom and I spent at the basketball court nx to my old hse in bedok, consoling this very same aunt abt her husband's extra-marital affair. she was so sad tat nite that she even wanted to jump down fr my grandma's hse. it was the very first time i saw her cry. she has always been such a strong woman. in the end, she forgave him and he agreed to leave that woman. tat shld be almost 20yrs ago. n now history repeats. darn.
infidelity doesnt run in my own family. but it seems like there're bound to be familiar cases coming fr both mom and dad's side of the family tree. though i wouldnt be surprised if another one emerged right infront of my eyes. i think it's juz a matter of time.
n i reali wish i will not be ard to witness all these. coz it is indeed painful for everyone else.
tat is the selfishness of man. a moment's pleasure/folly. lust is the evil.
men are bastards. that still stands. even mom shakes head n agree.
if u canot find a man worthy of ur love, worthy enuff to bear kids for, to sacrifice all u hav in life to begin another new life with, why bother to wanna get married?but yet we cry out at our loneliness so often in life. it seems life will never be easy and smooth. until we choose to be happie, now. regardless of wat we have, and don hav. it means, choosing to be happie at this very moment. n not wait until.. until we become rich, until we get married, until the kids grow old, until we get a new job w higher pay, until friday comes, until we go on a nice long vacation, until we get a car, a house.. bla bla bla..
we just keep forgetting, don't we?
this week is slow coz boss is not ard. i even managed to slip off 20 mins earlier today to catch dad's ride back home. it made a whole big world of difference in the journey time. sweet!
took the two kiddos for a jog in the cool evening.. after dinner i went for a stroll with dad n mom to ntuc. totally cool n enjoyable. such is the pleasure in life.
and dan mom told me abt my aunt's story. the husband has an affair (wat's new?). he even asked to bring tat woman home to live tog with the family, if my aunt doesnt wan to divorce him. i guess i couldnt blame my cousin (oldest of their 3 kids) for 'turning rebellious' since young coz the foundation of love in this family might oreadi be unstable fr the start. i remembered when i was still in pri sch, there was a nite my mom and I spent at the basketball court nx to my old hse in bedok, consoling this very same aunt abt her husband's extra-marital affair. she was so sad tat nite that she even wanted to jump down fr my grandma's hse. it was the very first time i saw her cry. she has always been such a strong woman. in the end, she forgave him and he agreed to leave that woman. tat shld be almost 20yrs ago. n now history repeats. darn.
infidelity doesnt run in my own family. but it seems like there're bound to be familiar cases coming fr both mom and dad's side of the family tree. though i wouldnt be surprised if another one emerged right infront of my eyes. i think it's juz a matter of time.
n i reali wish i will not be ard to witness all these. coz it is indeed painful for everyone else.
tat is the selfishness of man. a moment's pleasure/folly. lust is the evil.
men are bastards. that still stands. even mom shakes head n agree.
if u canot find a man worthy of ur love, worthy enuff to bear kids for, to sacrifice all u hav in life to begin another new life with, why bother to wanna get married?but yet we cry out at our loneliness so often in life. it seems life will never be easy and smooth. until we choose to be happie, now. regardless of wat we have, and don hav. it means, choosing to be happie at this very moment. n not wait until.. until we become rich, until we get married, until the kids grow old, until we get a new job w higher pay, until friday comes, until we go on a nice long vacation, until we get a car, a house.. bla bla bla..
we just keep forgetting, don't we?
9.10.08
我一直都在
遥望着你背影
有孤单 太苍白
我多么想陪着你
走过人山人海
当天空变灰白
你的忧伤澎湃
我多么想走进你
紧锁的心海
我一直都在你身后等待
等你有一天回过头看我
我的笑送给你希望你快乐
你的难过都给我
关于你的一切我都好好收藏着
我一直都在你身后等待
等你有一天能感觉到我
就算我在你世界渺小像一颗尘埃
我也会给你我所有的光和热
我鼓起勇气呐喊你要听得见
我不许你再孤单
要你拥抱我给的温暖
7.10.08
from shan... haha
mine is real cute rite.. with two tabby kittens lookin at me...
see our new singapore zoo's ambassador below...taadaa!!
5.10.08
i tink i am ready.
despite a very seh n ultra sleepy day out. too much unnecessary dreams last nite.
i managed to iron all my clothes (i don hav much really). changed the bedsheet. swept the floor. all within the nite. a clean room makes me feel good.
hope i'll get a gd nite's sleep too.
n wake up with a fresh n sane mind. is this a whole new beginning?
i will walk on with faith...in Him i trust always. always.
despite a very seh n ultra sleepy day out. too much unnecessary dreams last nite.
i managed to iron all my clothes (i don hav much really). changed the bedsheet. swept the floor. all within the nite. a clean room makes me feel good.
hope i'll get a gd nite's sleep too.
n wake up with a fresh n sane mind. is this a whole new beginning?
i will walk on with faith...in Him i trust always. always.
3.10.08
new look!
erm, yes. u're looking at me in the pic on top. it's me! v young n crawl-y. on a patch of grass near my old old home in good ol' bedok. i tink it merges well with my blog name. like it's a documentary of my life .. albeit not since the beginning when i first started to crawl but well..
whenever i looked back at my old posts here, i have an urge to delete all the old old posts which tells so much of who i really am on the inside. i am obviously more childish in my thinking 4 yrs ago dan i was now, who isnt? coz to me, being 22, and 26, is a big difference in maturity, in thinking.. n hence that explains all the childish thots i pen-ed down here. reading them makes me a lil' paiseh, n tat explains why i feel like deleting them.. but dan again.. these are ME rite.. i can delete them away here but.. they're what make me whole. i don wan to delete these memories from myself either.. n i doubt anibody would be interested to read up my old posts as well since most of u know me from those younger days. =p n so all shall be intact.
mayb it's time i unblock this blog since i've already found a job. coz my main reason for blocking was mainly becoz i don wan some agencies goggling the nick fr my email add.. i've since then created another email account to apply for other/and this new job(s).hmm.
whenever i looked back at my old posts here, i have an urge to delete all the old old posts which tells so much of who i really am on the inside. i am obviously more childish in my thinking 4 yrs ago dan i was now, who isnt? coz to me, being 22, and 26, is a big difference in maturity, in thinking.. n hence that explains all the childish thots i pen-ed down here. reading them makes me a lil' paiseh, n tat explains why i feel like deleting them.. but dan again.. these are ME rite.. i can delete them away here but.. they're what make me whole. i don wan to delete these memories from myself either.. n i doubt anibody would be interested to read up my old posts as well since most of u know me from those younger days. =p n so all shall be intact.
mayb it's time i unblock this blog since i've already found a job. coz my main reason for blocking was mainly becoz i don wan some agencies goggling the nick fr my email add.. i've since then created another email account to apply for other/and this new job(s).hmm.
29.9.08
22.9.08
i had my crabs.
i sang.
i taught.
i church-ed.
what else am i missing this weekend? it's already so much more occupied dan all the other weekends since dunowhen.
why do i still feel so left out in the world, so lost, so lonely?
Is it really because my 爹 and 娘 are both out of town, up on the casino hilltop.. and tat's making me feel so alone in the world?? crap.
this is one of those times i feel i need a certain someone in my life. someone who has to be there for me when i hav none. obligated to be, that is.
i sang.
i taught.
i church-ed.
what else am i missing this weekend? it's already so much more occupied dan all the other weekends since dunowhen.
why do i still feel so left out in the world, so lost, so lonely?
Is it really because my 爹 and 娘 are both out of town, up on the casino hilltop.. and tat's making me feel so alone in the world?? crap.
this is one of those times i feel i need a certain someone in my life. someone who has to be there for me when i hav none. obligated to be, that is.
21.9.08
the journey of life
u once were, but am no longer.
i still want a munchkin.
memories got ransacked
fine as long as emotions don't get stirred.
life goes on ..and on....and on and on.
i still want a munchkin.
memories got ransacked
fine as long as emotions don't get stirred.
life goes on ..and on....and on and on.
15.9.08
12.9.08
7.9.08
The Academy
i cant believe they let 李-sir die in the last episode! a small bullet to end his mighty and strong-willed life!
mayb that's why ll says Part 2 isnt as nice?
though i like both the younger leads as well but nothing beats seeing 李-sir's maturity/fighting spirit and his sweet love life hasnt even began!hai.
--------------
yes that's what i've been catching these days on tudou. i guess its true that hk dramas have more substance dan tw dramas.. but they're entirely different i tink. at least entertaining to me in diff ways. not all can sustain my interest throughout the entire series though.
n i tink im falling sick again. i dun knw why and wat causes it(might be the tonnes of choco and heaty stuff i gobbled in the last 2 wks of my raging appetite). call it stress fr doing nothing, and sleeping way too much.. n at home the irritation level rises which made me even more wanna hide behind this closed door 24/7 so i don hav to entertain stupid n insensitive comments abt my plight. For God's sake, leave me alone!!!!!
mayb that's why ll says Part 2 isnt as nice?
though i like both the younger leads as well but nothing beats seeing 李-sir's maturity/fighting spirit and his sweet love life hasnt even began!hai.
--------------
yes that's what i've been catching these days on tudou. i guess its true that hk dramas have more substance dan tw dramas.. but they're entirely different i tink. at least entertaining to me in diff ways. not all can sustain my interest throughout the entire series though.
n i tink im falling sick again. i dun knw why and wat causes it(might be the tonnes of choco and heaty stuff i gobbled in the last 2 wks of my raging appetite). call it stress fr doing nothing, and sleeping way too much.. n at home the irritation level rises which made me even more wanna hide behind this closed door 24/7 so i don hav to entertain stupid n insensitive comments abt my plight. For God's sake, leave me alone!!!!!
4.9.08
until the last drop/breath
The Burning Bush Devotional
Welcome to the 1,070 new subscribers since January 1, 2008!!
09.01.08
Never Give Up!
Then the word of the LORD came to him, saying, "Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and dwell there. See, I have commanded a widow there to provide for you." So he arose and went to Zarephath. And when he came to the gate of the city, indeed a widow was there gathering sticks. And he called to her and said, "Please bring me a little water in a cup, that I may drink." And as she was going to get it, he called to her and said, "Please bring me a morsel of bread in your hand." So she said, "As the LORD your God lives, I do not have bread, only a handful of flour in a bin, and a little oil in a jar; and see, I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die." And Elijah said to her, "Do not fear; go and do as you have said, but make me a small cake from it first, and bring it to me; and afterward make some for yourself and your son. For thus says the LORD God of Israel: 'The bin of flour shall not be used up, nor shall the jar of oil run dry, until the day the LORD sends rain on the earth.'" So she went away and did according to the word of Elijah; and she and he and her household ate for many days. The bin of flour was not used up, nor did the jar of oil run dry, according to the word of the LORD which He spoke by Elijah. - 1 Kings 17:8-15.
In 2005, according to the Environmental Protection Agency, the United States was responsible for the creation of 245.7 million tons of garbage. However, that is close to 1.6 million tons of garbage less than the year before and that is about 4.5 pounds of trash per person per day. The good news is that one-third of the garbage was recycled in 2005. The EPA goal for this year is 35 percent to be recycled. As you can see the United States creates a huge amount of garbage every day. We are a throw away society and disposable seems to always be better than the reusable but it wasn't always that way. During the depression years and through much of the World War II years in the United States things were different. During those years not very much of anything was thrown away because everything was needed to survive. Everything was used down to the last drop, down to the last tiny bit.
During WW II tires were very hard to find because of use of the material in the war effort. Neighbors would sometimes share tires with each other in order to have one vehicle, they could use. If someone in the family was ill, having a vehicle that had tires became very important. Because of that, my Dad hoarded old tires for years after the war because he still remembered a
time when an old tire could have meant the difference between life and death.
In these modern times, I believe we give up too easily. We give up too early. We give up before it's down to the last drop. We give up before we are down to our last dollar. We would do well to remember Elijah and widow of Zarephath. God gave them the food they needed as long as it was needed. We should remember the example of our Lord at the feeding of the five thousand and of the four thousand. Only a few fishes and a little bread until our Lord blessed the food, and it was multiplied into a provision for the thousands with baskets of food left over.
Before we give up. Before we bail out. Let us give God an opportunity to work that miracle in our lives. Let us thank God for all that we have and are. Ask Him to sustain us. When we think we can't make it another day, let us live one more and see what God will do. When we've gone our last mile, let us walk one more. As we do, we will see the hand of God upon our lives sustaining us each day as we trust Him to provide. Never, ever, give up!!
Copyright © 1999. 2008. Ed Wrather. Permission is given for use of the devotionals on a non-profit basis with source credited. The Burning Bush website has been online since January 31, 1998. On June 8, 1998 the email version of the Burning Bush Devotional was first sent.
Welcome to the 1,070 new subscribers since January 1, 2008!!
09.01.08
Never Give Up!
Then the word of the LORD came to him, saying, "Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and dwell there. See, I have commanded a widow there to provide for you." So he arose and went to Zarephath. And when he came to the gate of the city, indeed a widow was there gathering sticks. And he called to her and said, "Please bring me a little water in a cup, that I may drink." And as she was going to get it, he called to her and said, "Please bring me a morsel of bread in your hand." So she said, "As the LORD your God lives, I do not have bread, only a handful of flour in a bin, and a little oil in a jar; and see, I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die." And Elijah said to her, "Do not fear; go and do as you have said, but make me a small cake from it first, and bring it to me; and afterward make some for yourself and your son. For thus says the LORD God of Israel: 'The bin of flour shall not be used up, nor shall the jar of oil run dry, until the day the LORD sends rain on the earth.'" So she went away and did according to the word of Elijah; and she and he and her household ate for many days. The bin of flour was not used up, nor did the jar of oil run dry, according to the word of the LORD which He spoke by Elijah. - 1 Kings 17:8-15.
In 2005, according to the Environmental Protection Agency, the United States was responsible for the creation of 245.7 million tons of garbage. However, that is close to 1.6 million tons of garbage less than the year before and that is about 4.5 pounds of trash per person per day. The good news is that one-third of the garbage was recycled in 2005. The EPA goal for this year is 35 percent to be recycled. As you can see the United States creates a huge amount of garbage every day. We are a throw away society and disposable seems to always be better than the reusable but it wasn't always that way. During the depression years and through much of the World War II years in the United States things were different. During those years not very much of anything was thrown away because everything was needed to survive. Everything was used down to the last drop, down to the last tiny bit.
During WW II tires were very hard to find because of use of the material in the war effort. Neighbors would sometimes share tires with each other in order to have one vehicle, they could use. If someone in the family was ill, having a vehicle that had tires became very important. Because of that, my Dad hoarded old tires for years after the war because he still remembered a
time when an old tire could have meant the difference between life and death.
In these modern times, I believe we give up too easily. We give up too early. We give up before it's down to the last drop. We give up before we are down to our last dollar. We would do well to remember Elijah and widow of Zarephath. God gave them the food they needed as long as it was needed. We should remember the example of our Lord at the feeding of the five thousand and of the four thousand. Only a few fishes and a little bread until our Lord blessed the food, and it was multiplied into a provision for the thousands with baskets of food left over.
Before we give up. Before we bail out. Let us give God an opportunity to work that miracle in our lives. Let us thank God for all that we have and are. Ask Him to sustain us. When we think we can't make it another day, let us live one more and see what God will do. When we've gone our last mile, let us walk one more. As we do, we will see the hand of God upon our lives sustaining us each day as we trust Him to provide. Never, ever, give up!!
Copyright © 1999. 2008. Ed Wrather. Permission is given for use of the devotionals on a non-profit basis with source credited. The Burning Bush website has been online since January 31, 1998. On June 8, 1998 the email version of the Burning Bush Devotional was first sent.
30.8.08
fri
no, we did not hav a bunch of fur in the pan for dinner.
we had vegs
crackers
fav scallops
and beef steak. too unsightly to appear here.
n of coz brownies. with rum/raisin i/cream
"when i am gg for a groom?!"
I look messy! rite!
we had vegs
crackers
fav scallops
and beef steak. too unsightly to appear here.
n of coz brownies. with rum/raisin i/cream
"when i am gg for a groom?!"
I look messy! rite!
28.8.08
don worry. nothing happened in my hk/tpe trip. i did not come back worst off. n i did enjoyed tat trip, albeit a simple one.
mayb it's just this long transition period tat's eating up all my self-confidence, morale.. n watnot.
i do not wan to be important to anione, nor do i wan to rely on anione impt. i tink it's safer this way. it has proven true.
so... leave me alone. leave my attitude alone. i don wan any new nicks either, by the way.
brownies will cheer me up though. cupcakes? i highly doubt they'll emerge at all...hahahah
mayb it's just this long transition period tat's eating up all my self-confidence, morale.. n watnot.
i do not wan to be important to anione, nor do i wan to rely on anione impt. i tink it's safer this way. it has proven true.
so... leave me alone. leave my attitude alone. i don wan any new nicks either, by the way.
brownies will cheer me up though. cupcakes? i highly doubt they'll emerge at all...hahahah
24.8.08
fireworks was damn disappointing last nite. not juz becoz of the rainy weather.. i tink korean team sucks. n dan i remembered the past few years they sucked too. if i had known earlier that fri's france n sat's korean.. i would hav chosen the fri's tics!
but anyway.. its a diff feeling altogether this year. n i like this better. can i say that im happier already?
n as i fill my days/nites with more activities, albeit simple ones.. i can slowly erase this/last week's chapter out of my mind. it's a brand new day of a brand new week starting from today!
n im glad ppl still care. for those few who happened to ask abt my job hunt process this week n knew abt it. n its comforting to hear that it wasnt my fault for the lost 'opportunity', if it even was one. or mayb being very nice frens they wont wanna say the 'truth'. ppl closest to u say the meanest things for ur own good, i suppose.
ahh.. anyway, look ahead!
but anyway.. its a diff feeling altogether this year. n i like this better. can i say that im happier already?
n as i fill my days/nites with more activities, albeit simple ones.. i can slowly erase this/last week's chapter out of my mind. it's a brand new day of a brand new week starting from today!
n im glad ppl still care. for those few who happened to ask abt my job hunt process this week n knew abt it. n its comforting to hear that it wasnt my fault for the lost 'opportunity', if it even was one. or mayb being very nice frens they wont wanna say the 'truth'. ppl closest to u say the meanest things for ur own good, i suppose.
ahh.. anyway, look ahead!
23.8.08
things happen for a reason. whatever it is, i can only accept it.
legs r aching. when was it that i last cycled?
still road's crab not fantastic animore. standard has dropped over the years. mayb defu lane's and melben's still the best.
gonna wait till i've got income again dan i can pamper myself with luxury goods/food.
meanwhile, make do with simple pleasures in life. im tryin to!
legs r aching. when was it that i last cycled?
still road's crab not fantastic animore. standard has dropped over the years. mayb defu lane's and melben's still the best.
gonna wait till i've got income again dan i can pamper myself with luxury goods/food.
meanwhile, make do with simple pleasures in life. im tryin to!
19.8.08
16.8.08
under the bright 15th moon
we nver get sick talking about our younger days.
is that a sign of us(or just me) not wanting to grow up, to face the 'adult' problems?
we reali need to do sometin crazy before life/age gets to us further.hmm wat shld it be?
wow. 21yrs of frenship. amazing figure.
is that a sign of us(or just me) not wanting to grow up, to face the 'adult' problems?
we reali need to do sometin crazy before life/age gets to us further.hmm wat shld it be?
wow. 21yrs of frenship. amazing figure.
14.8.08
sometin to remember..
WHAT A WONDERFUL LESSON TO LIVE BY
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.
They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.
He was astonished at what he saw.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal,
he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up
over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a steppingstone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less from people but more from God.
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.
They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well.
He was astonished at what he saw.
With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal,
he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up
over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
MORAL :
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a steppingstone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less from people but more from God.
12.8.08
how shld i feel when these few days i logged into facebook and the news feed are all about him. his photos. lots of them. n even comments/tags for almost every pic of him n the ger. can anione tell me how i shld or shld not feel?
coz i reali don feel good about it. it doesnt matter animore even if the ger's already attached. according to irene.
im feeling this way (use the word starting with 'j' if u like) not becoz its a ger beside him. but becoz im not there at those fantastic-looking places touring ard. becoz im missing london like crazy though im not missing him. becoz i am juz not feeling good at home now. ( i knw having a job doesnt make tins better, but somehow not having one is making me grow impatient with myself n everyone)
if anyone, anyone of u at all who can understand me.. pls tell me to delete him fr my facebook so i wont hav to face these anymore. but for those who dont, juz shut up. i don need to hear more.
i know i left him on my own accord. left my previous job for him partially. brought all these to myself. in fact sometimes when i accidentally come across our photos (lots lying ard in my room somewhere in a corner in my cupboards), i don know how tins suddenly became totally wrong btw us. not juz the feeling's gone (if u all ever agree there was a presence of 'feel' in the first place), but the feeling's gone BAD. cant get any worst. n dan i hav to tink n recall back.. n reinforce them in my head so that i can be at peace with myself.
i guess this is my first post about my feelings deep within on this blog. now tat i've locked it up. i can safely tok abt feelings(which i initially hav no intention to anymore n tats y its turning into a 'biblical' blog). if any of u are interested in reading them at all.
i wan to go away. i need to go away. i hate being home. but how?...
coz i reali don feel good about it. it doesnt matter animore even if the ger's already attached. according to irene.
im feeling this way (use the word starting with 'j' if u like) not becoz its a ger beside him. but becoz im not there at those fantastic-looking places touring ard. becoz im missing london like crazy though im not missing him. becoz i am juz not feeling good at home now. ( i knw having a job doesnt make tins better, but somehow not having one is making me grow impatient with myself n everyone)
if anyone, anyone of u at all who can understand me.. pls tell me to delete him fr my facebook so i wont hav to face these anymore. but for those who dont, juz shut up. i don need to hear more.
i know i left him on my own accord. left my previous job for him partially. brought all these to myself. in fact sometimes when i accidentally come across our photos (lots lying ard in my room somewhere in a corner in my cupboards), i don know how tins suddenly became totally wrong btw us. not juz the feeling's gone (if u all ever agree there was a presence of 'feel' in the first place), but the feeling's gone BAD. cant get any worst. n dan i hav to tink n recall back.. n reinforce them in my head so that i can be at peace with myself.
i guess this is my first post about my feelings deep within on this blog. now tat i've locked it up. i can safely tok abt feelings(which i initially hav no intention to anymore n tats y its turning into a 'biblical' blog). if any of u are interested in reading them at all.
i wan to go away. i need to go away. i hate being home. but how?...
9.8.08
7.8.08
I've Never Been to Me
Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you.....
Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me
Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies....
Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht
I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love......
Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free
Hey lady......
I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)
But I've never been to me
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you.....
Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me
Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies....
Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht
I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love......
Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free
Hey lady......
I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)
But I've never been to me
6.8.08
nice article
Let us commence
At the Berkeley graduation I told the students that the secret to success was simple -- ignore your parents' expectations, give money to the ACLU, and find out the truth about who you are.
Jun 6, 2003 | I gave the undergraduate and interdisciplinary studies commencement address at the University of California at Berkeley in May. A number of people asked for a copy of the speech, and I told them I'd post it on Salon. So here it is, shorter and slightly fiddled with.
I am honored and surprised that you asked me to speak today.
This must be a magical day for you. I wouldn't know. I accidentally forgot to graduate from college. I meant to, 30 years ago, but things got away from me. I did graduate from high school, though -- do I get a partial credit for that? Although, unfortunately, my father had forgotten to pay the book bill, so at the graduation ceremony, when I opened the case to see my diploma, it was empty. Except for a ransom note that said, see Mrs. Foley, the bookkeeper, if you ever want to see your diploma alive again.
I went to Goucher College in Maryland for the best possible reasons -- to learn -- but then I dropped out at 19 for the best possible reasons -- to become a writer. Those of you who have read my work know that instead, I accidentally became a Kelly girl for a while. Then, In a dazzling career move, I got hired as a clerk typist in the Nuclear Quality Assurance Department at Bechtel, where I worked typing and sorting triplicate forms. I hate to complain, but it was not very stimulating work. But it paid the bills, so I could write my stories every night when I got home. I worked at Bechtel for six months -- but I had nothing to do with the current administration's shameless war profiteering. I just sorted triplicate forms. You've got to believe me.
It was a terrible job, at which I did a terrible job, but it paid $600 a month, which was enough to pay my rent and bills. This is the real fly in the ointment if you are crazy enough to want to be an artist -- you have to give up your dreams of swimming pools and fish forks, and take any old job. At 20, I got hired at a magazine as an assistant editor, and I think that was the last real job I've ever had.
I bet I'm beginning to make your parents really nervous -- here I am sort of bragging about being a dropout, and unemployable, and secretly making a pitch for you to follow your creative dreams, when what they want is for you to do well in your field, make them look good, and maybe also make a tiny fortune.
But that is not your problem. Your problem is how you are going to spend this one odd and precious life you have been issued. Whether you're going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over people and circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.
At some point I finally started getting published, and experiencing a meager knock-kneed standing in the literary world, and I started to get almost everything that many of you graduates are hoping for -- except for the money.
I got a lot of things that society had promised would make me whole and fulfilled -- all the things that the culture tells you from preschool on will quiet the throbbing anxiety inside you -- stature, the respect of colleagues, maybe even a kind of low-grade fame. The culture says these things will save you, as long as you also manage to keep your weight down. But the culture lies.
Slowly, after dozens of rejection slips and failures and false starts and postponed dreams -- what Langston Hughes called dreams deferred -- I stepped onto the hallowed ground of being a published novelist, and then 15 years later, I even started to make real money.
I'd been wanting to be a successful author my whole life. But when I finally did it, I was like a greyhound catching the mechanical rabbit she'd been chasing all her life -- metal, wrapped up in cloth. It wasn't alive; it had no spirit. It was fake. Fake doesn't feed anything. Only spirit feeds spirit, in the same way only your own blood type can sustain you. It had nothing that could slake the lifelong thirst I had for a little immediacy, and connection.
So from the wise old pinnacle of my 49 years, I want to tell you that what you're looking for is already inside you. You've heard this before, but the holy thing inside you really is that which causes you to seek it. You can't buy it, lease it, rent it, date it or apply for it. The best job in the world can't give it to you. Neither can success, or fame, or financial security -- besides which, there ain't no such thing. J.D. Rockefeller was asked, "How much money is enough?" and he said, "Just a little bit more."
So it can be confusing -- most of your parents want you to do well, to be successful. They want you to be happy -- or at least happy-ish. And they want you to be nicer to them; just a little nicer -- is that so much to ask?
They want you to love, and be loved, and to find peace, and to laugh and find meaningful work. But they also -- some of them -- a few of them -- not yours -- yours are fine -- they also want you to chase the bunny for a while. To get ahead, sock some away, and then find a balance between the greyhound bunny-chase, and savoring your life.
But the thing is that you don't know if you're going to live long enough to slow down, relax, and have fun, and discover the truth of your spiritual identity. You may not be destined to live a long life; you may not have 60 more years to discover and claim your own deepest truth -- like Breaker Morant said, you have to live every day as if it's your last, because one of these days, you're bound to be right.
So I thought it might help if I just went ahead and told you what I think is the truth of your spiritual identity ...
Actually, I don't have a clue.
I do know you are not what you look like, or how much you weigh, or how you did in school, and whether you get to start a job next Monday or not. Spirit isn't what you do, it's ... well, again, I don't actually know. They probably taught this junior year at Goucher. But I know that you feel it best when you're not doing much -- when you're in nature, when you've very quiet, or, paradoxically, listening to music.
I know you can feel it and hear it in the music you love, in the bass line, in the harmonies, in the silence between notes; in Chopin and Eminem, Emmylou Harris, Bach, whoever. You can close your eyes and feel the divine spark, concentrated in you, like a little Dr. Seuss firefly. It flickers with aliveness and relief, like an American in a foreign country who suddenly hears someone speaking in English. In the Christian tradition, they say that the soul rejoices in hearing what it already knows. And so you pay attention when that Dr. Seuss creature inside you sits up and says, "Yo!"
We can see spirit made visible in people being kind to each other, especially when it's a really busy person, taking care of a needy annoying person. Or even if it's terribly important you, stopping to take care of pitiful, pathetic you. In fact, that's often when we see spirit most brightly.
It's magic to see spirit largely because it's so rare. Mostly you see the masks and the holograms that the culture presents as real. You see how you're doing in the world's eyes, or your family's, or -- worst of all -- yours, or in the eyes of people who are doing better than you -- much better than you -- or worse. But you are not your bank account, or your ambitiousness. You're not the cold clay lump with a big belly you leave behind when you die. You're not your collection of walking personality disorders. You are spirit, you are love, and, while it is increasingly hard to believe during this presidency, you are free. You're here to love, and be loved, freely. If you find out next week that you are terminally ill -- and we're all terminally ill on this bus -- all that will matter is memories of beauty, that people loved you, and you loved them, and that you tried to help the poor and innocent.
So how do we feed and nourish our spirit, and the spirit of others?
First, find a path, and a little light to see by. Every single spiritual tradition says the same three things: 1) Live in the now, as often as you can, a breath here, a moment there. 2) You reap exactly what you sow. 3) You must take care of the poor, or you are so doomed that we can't help you.
You don't have to go overseas. There are people right here who are poor in spirit; worried, depressed, dancing as fast as they can, whose kids are sick, or whose retirement savings are gone. There is great loneliness among us, life-threatening loneliness. People have given up on peace, on equality. They've even given up on the Democratic Party, which I haven't, not by a long shot. You do what you can, what good people have always done: You bring thirsty people water; you share your food, you try to help the homeless find shelter, you stand up for the underdog.
Anything that can help you get your sense of humor back feeds the spirit, too. In the Bill Murray army movie "Stripes," a very tense recruit announces during his platoon's introductions, "My name is Francis. No one calls me Francis. Anyone calls me Francis, I'll kill them. And I don't like to be touched -- anyone tries to touch me, I'll kill them." And the sergeant responds, "Oh, lighten up, Francis." So you may need to upgrade your friends. You need to find people who laugh gently at themselves, who remind you gently to lighten up.
Rest and laughter are the most spiritual and subversive acts of all. Laugh, rest, slow down. Some of you start jobs Monday; some of you desperately wish you did -- some of your parents are asthmatic with anxiety that you don't. They shared this with me before the ceremony began.
But again, this is not your problem. If your family is hell-bent on you making a name for yourself in the field of, say, molecular cell biology, then maybe when you're giving them a final tour of campus, you can show them to the admissions office. I doubt very seriously that they could even get into U.C. Berkeley -- I talked to a professor who said there is not a chance he could get in these days.
So I would recommend that you all just take a long deep breath, and stop. Just be where your butts are, and breathe. Take some time. You are graduating today. Refuse to cooperate with anyone who is trying to shame you into hopping right back up onto the rat exercise wheel.
Rest, but pay attention. Refuse to cooperate with anyone who is stealing your freedom, your personal and civil liberties, and then smirking about it. I'm not going to name names. Just send money to the ACLU whenever you can.
But slow down if you can. Better yet, lie down.
In my 20s I devised a school of relaxation that has unfortunately fallen out of favor in the ensuing years -- it was called Prone Yoga. You just lie around as much as possible. You could read, listen to music, you could space out, or sleep. But you had to be lying down. Maintaining the prone.
You've graduated. You have nothing left to prove, and besides, it's a fool's game. If you agree to play, you've already lost. It's Charlie Brown and Lucy, with the football. If you keep getting back on the field, they win. There are so many great things to do right now. Write. Sing. Rest. Eat cherries. Register voters. And -- oh my God -- I nearly forgot the most important thing: refuse to wear uncomfortable pants, even if they make you look really thin. Promise me you'll never wear pants that bind or tug or hurt, pants that have an opinion about how much you've just eaten. The pants may be lying! There is way too much lying and scolding going on politically right now without your pants getting in on the act, too.
So bless you. You've done an amazing thing. And you are loved; you are capable of lives of great joy and meaning. It's what you are made of. And it's what you're for. So take care of yourselves; take care of each other. Thank you.
5.8.08
26.7.08
22.7.08
是非题
每段故事都有一篇剧情
每段爱情都像动人旋律
一颗真心却只向着你前进
也许爱 越单纯越着迷
你是窗外另外一片风景
在你眼里我是什么关系
你的呼吸藏在我的爱情里
何时能诚实面对自己
我们从不开口那个言语
那一句我爱你
永远像少了勇气
别人都说
我和你之间的关系
没有人相信只有关心
我们从不正视那个问题
那一些是非题
总让人伤透脑筋
我会期待
爱情盛开那一个黎明
一定会有美丽的爱情
每段爱情都像动人旋律
一颗真心却只向着你前进
也许爱 越单纯越着迷
你是窗外另外一片风景
在你眼里我是什么关系
你的呼吸藏在我的爱情里
何时能诚实面对自己
我们从不开口那个言语
那一句我爱你
永远像少了勇气
别人都说
我和你之间的关系
没有人相信只有关心
我们从不正视那个问题
那一些是非题
总让人伤透脑筋
我会期待
爱情盛开那一个黎明
一定会有美丽的爱情
20.7.08
16.7.08
15.7.08
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