Have spent few days/weeks collating the junk n sending them out of my mailbox so tins can be done while im away from work.. n just when im about to sink into my holiday mood.. mgr has to come n tell me abt the board approval for my major proj. that will probably be one of the biggest component of my KPI this year.. nt that my ye bonus will be any fantabulous, neither will it be very much affected by this coz it’s a Major project that probably wont be completed by sep anyway. But still I feel I shld be responsible enuff to start planning for it b4 I leave for tw trip. (practically on left 1 day) Or at least start tinking abt it. The load in june gonna be bad bad bad coz of those backlog tat im struggling with now, plus more accumulated during these 2 weeks of absence.. plus the proj.. blah blah blah.. how exciting.. hw to banish my post-holiday blues n sink myself into the workload when I come back? and july’s gonna be the quarterly nightmare once again! Can I don come back at all?? Feels like running away yet again! Ah. Haven even went for the trip n im tinking way too much. Shall not make myself miserable tinking abt the workload. Its gonna be fun fun fun!
And its been almost a full 8 mths with the company. I cant believe hw time zoom pass me. it is as loooong as my time in that previous co which was practically like hell everyday.. except those enjoyable times during n after work with the pals. Anyway..wat I can conclude as of now is.. this is way better dan audit. Despite the stress n pressure being real-time.. despite the amount of manual workload n admin.. I guess its reali stil tolerable. At least there isn’t any push factor yet.. (im stil tryin my best to overcome tat quarterly nightmare)..as for pull factors.. nothing’s certain..too many considerations come into play which my puny brain cannot weigh properly.. I can/shall let God lead. I can totally trust in Him.
p/s: for ppl who keep forgetting, im leaving at 1pm fri 25th May.. be back at 11pm tues 5th June. Till then!
23.5.07
15.5.07
i hope its for the good of it.
this was then.. baskin in the sunlight
and this was last nite.. its first nite in another new environment..wary.scared.
didnt wan to let it out of my arms..
letting me play with its ears..
the emo me almost hav tears falling coz i reali cant bear to leave without it. smuggle in my tee. nobody knows. stupid me.
10.5.07
4.5.07
aftermath..
So many days of not blogging.. particularly becoz.. its all negative tins tat were happening. Call it a series of unfortunate events. Ever since tabby fell down, many other events took place. Consecutively. Not to mention hw much tears were shed as many had witnessed. Im not supposed to blog abt them but one word sums up everytin. Relationship. All kinds. Frenships, kinship, n the word itself literally.or mayb its me. I sucked at managing them.
The conclusion is still the same. That im too negative. (but I stil give thanks for little tins in life. Juz tat I don blog them now. Don express to anyone but God Himself). Too harsh and critical on me n my life. Too imaginative. Painted an idealistic but unrealistic picture of the world im in. how contradicting. How can I be both pessimistic and yet too idealistic at the same time? despite knowin these I stil get myself trapped in my own emotional vicious cycle. Mayb coz I don tink its wrong to feel n tink this way. Cant controlled my feelings. Juz tat I knw the need to get out of it.. but hav no motivation within and around me to.
Tins happen for a reason.im tryin to fathom the underlying meaning behind every event. Learn fr it. Grow up. N learn to face life without much fear. Nor tears.
If there’s this tin called blogging style, dan I’ll change mine fr now on. Coz im supposed to tink and dan write down the good side of every bad tin that occurred. The pig has always offered realistic (sometimes harsh) motivational comments. N all my beloved frens.. who offered comforting words.. even simple words like be strong.. are much appreciated. Not offering enuff tissue is reali a good way to make me stop overflowing. Thanks minz. Hee. N oh ya.. don try to comfort me nx time when im sobbing coz it oni gets worse. Mayb all I need is a physical pat/hug. Yea.
N even the two most dearest..though fighting for bed space with me.. but the physical presence indeed overcame that stupid fear of returning to ur own home. Home sweet home.
Yeah.. 3 wks from now n I’ll be on the plane.. =)
The conclusion is still the same. That im too negative. (but I stil give thanks for little tins in life. Juz tat I don blog them now. Don express to anyone but God Himself). Too harsh and critical on me n my life. Too imaginative. Painted an idealistic but unrealistic picture of the world im in. how contradicting. How can I be both pessimistic and yet too idealistic at the same time? despite knowin these I stil get myself trapped in my own emotional vicious cycle. Mayb coz I don tink its wrong to feel n tink this way. Cant controlled my feelings. Juz tat I knw the need to get out of it.. but hav no motivation within and around me to.
Tins happen for a reason.im tryin to fathom the underlying meaning behind every event. Learn fr it. Grow up. N learn to face life without much fear. Nor tears.
If there’s this tin called blogging style, dan I’ll change mine fr now on. Coz im supposed to tink and dan write down the good side of every bad tin that occurred. The pig has always offered realistic (sometimes harsh) motivational comments. N all my beloved frens.. who offered comforting words.. even simple words like be strong.. are much appreciated. Not offering enuff tissue is reali a good way to make me stop overflowing. Thanks minz. Hee. N oh ya.. don try to comfort me nx time when im sobbing coz it oni gets worse. Mayb all I need is a physical pat/hug. Yea.
N even the two most dearest..though fighting for bed space with me.. but the physical presence indeed overcame that stupid fear of returning to ur own home. Home sweet home.
Yeah.. 3 wks from now n I’ll be on the plane.. =)
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