A dedicated post

I know u will be reading this, like u know i will be reading urs as well. U hav been using ur blog to tell me alot of things indirectly.But i havent reali told u much in person nor in here.Coz its wierd to publish these sort of things.

But this will be different.Coz i know from my pt of view, things are always very clear.

I've made it known to u since many years ago..that im always afraid of giving u wrong impressions n a sense of false hope whenever i go out with you. But as the years go by, i still harbour the hope of keeping this pure frenship as i see that u can handle ur feelings better.

All i can say is, I'm reali honoured and glad that i can be so special in ur heart. Thanks for all the little n sweet things that you hav done for me over these years. Yes, though its on and off, i pretty much understand the reason behind..your $1 theory of betting and watsoeva..though i firmly do not agree in this..coz love is not abt choosing where to lay bigger bets and spread out the remaining amt..but i do respect ur thinking coz i certainly do not wish tat someone waste so much time on me n me alone. N to be honest, there were times when i feel reali touched by ur actions and seriously thot of giving u a chance, but the realistic n practical side of me told me not to. I can accept u and we can be happy together in the short term, neglecting LT thots on future and character compatibility. But i dare not enter into yet another not-so-promising relnship. Its not the rich guy theory tat u think k..though im always toking abt becoming a tai tai or becoming a full time housewife..

Aniwae, we r just different in our thinking and our beliefs. I hav my own wierd thinking, and u hav urs too. U fall in love easily, but i don. And sadly, our common pt is that we r both too emotional. But wat i have learnt from u thruout our frenship is how to be more adventurous in life, and how to be serious n put in effort in doing the things u like and for the person u love.

N u know, i hate it when i hav to avoid u when i sense things r not rite. as much as u hate it when u cant control urself rite? n dan u begin to avoid me, hoping that i will contact u first. But, like i've told u b4, i wont initiate asking u out coz its precisely this cycle tat im afraid of happening again..n i don wan to take the blame for causing u to hav that little bit of hope.

No, U r not lousy. At least not to me. Coz I do like the little things that u will do to brighten up my life. Certainly, alot of guys are not able to do these or even understand the importance of such efforts. And i do enjoy ur company all these while.

Time will change ur thinking for the better. I've seen ur thinking matured abit more over the years..and I do hope our after 30+years old agreement will be effective as of now.