2.5 yrs. no commitment.

hav grown tired and lazy.

wans to go back but am afraid.

afraid that i will not be able to commit. both time and effort.

most imptly, can i commit my heart totally?i love him. i believe in him. but yet i doubt myself tat i can commit to the church. the ppl. the activities. i know they are all for him. but sometimes i wonder why cant it be juz between me n him?

it should be. its a relnship btw me n him. no other tins shld come in btw. but tat is.. sadly the truth. expectations fr ppl. holy ppl. the pressure is even more tremendous dan from non-believers.

nobody is sure. so, its impt to take the first step. becoz help is there to continue walking after u commit tat first step.

i know all these. but i am still lethargic. yet i dont wan to wait until something bad happens, dan i crawl back to find him.like a baby.

*slap*

no matter wat, Christmas season is near. We should all not forget the meaning of Christmas! the birth of Christ, salvation for all beings! HE saveD us!!


in another aspect of love.. well.. its amazing wat love fr a ger can do to her guy. to make him wan to grow up, mature faster, and be there for her like a man when she needed that security and assurance. on the surface, love is simple. it makes u strong. n wan to breathe everyday juz for him/her. love is sweet, it makes u smile inside ur heart whenever u tink of the times shared btw the two. we all know the side effects of love. lets not tok abt them here becoz it's Christmas season!! hahah.. no matter wat, who can live without love?! be it heartbreaks, happiness or watnots, we r all craving for more!!More fr the right person, at the right time, in the right way!

in short, we shld juz treasure wat we have now. life, including love, is always a give n take situation. yes, give, dan take. note the order. =)

sidenote/: dear frenz, pls forgiv me if i keep forgetin little details of things that were told to me. i dun reali know wats up with me n my mind.. juz couldnt seem to focus on things and on ppl. left in right out. i will remind myself all the time.. to be alive.. awake.. alert. pls help!